Archive for the ‘Ahhh! Real New Yorkers’ Category

Come to New York! It’s Safe, Re­al­ly!

Black woman: You don’t go in there, girl, that’s the men’s bath­room! If you go in there, they’re go­ing to rape you! And don’t think that they would­n’t, be­cause they will! They’re go­ing to put you down on the floor and rape you and your daugh­ter! You lis­ten to me, girl!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: James Levin­sohn

Hus­band: Yeah, keep walk­ing! You know you can’t come back this way. They kill you here! They don’t just kill you, they kill every­one here!

–Cen­tral Park

Wednes­day One-lin­ers in the Fam­i­ly Way

Woman: She thinks she’s so spe­cial cause she’s preg­nant. Try be­ing 35 and not preg­nant! That’s hard­er to do!

–81st & Am­s­ter­dam

Very preg­nant woman, stand­ing on the sub­way, stares at a young black guy who took the last seat.

Young black guy: What do you want la­dy? I did­n’t get you that way!

–Union Square sta­tion

She’s Hard­ly Com­ing Up with A‑list Ma­te­r­i­al

Dude: Do you think if I had a tail I’d be hap­py?
Girl: I’m just go­ing to sit here qui­et­ly and pon­der the ridicu­lous­ness of that state­ment.
Ran­dom guy: …Did­n’t you steal that line from Ar­rest­ed De­vel­op­ment?
Girl: Yeah, so?
Ran­dom guy: Well, if you’re go­ing to make fun of him for be­ing an id­iot, he should at least get to make fun of you for be­ing a pla­gia­rist.

–C train

Over­heard by: Gradie Smith