Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category

Didn’t Want to Be a Pathetic Little Safe-Sex Bitch

Guy #1: His schlong was so long!
Guy #2: Did you get HIV?
Guy #1: No, I tested myself. You stick the thing in your butt for, like, five minutes like a thermometer. It feels so good.

–Washington Square Park

Ugh, I’d Prefer the AIDS

Russki #1: You can have my girlfriend.
Russki #2: I don’t want your girlfriend, she has AIDS.
Russki #1: Use a condom.

–Staten Island

Overheard by: R

He’s Got the Top Half Right

Tween boy #1: You don’t know what AIDS is.
Tween boy #2: Yeah I do. AIDS are what you get when a boy sticks his pee-pee in a girl’s coochee and he gets a disease.

–C train

They Even Go to the Bathroom Crazy

Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, motherfucker!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I wasn’t looking–
Hobo: Mutherfuckin’ faggot. Probably same faggot pissin’ AIDS all over everybody. Oughta put a bullet up you ass…

–Grand Central men’s room

Overheard by: john chianese

A hobo has peed on himself.

Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bathroom without all you bitches starin’ like it’s something new?

–Prospect Park

They Say the Neon Lights Aren’t Too Bright on Broadway

Clueless girl: Wait, is Rent about AIDS?
Slightly less clueless girl: Yeah.
Clueless girl: Oh, shit! Now I get it!

–LIRR Train

Overheard by: c

Not Anymore, Right?

Male passenger: One of her daughters has head lice, so she didn’t come in to work today.
Female companion (wincing): That’s ridiculous! It’s not like she has AIDS or something!

–LIRR

Overheard by: Les Izzmore