Guy #1: His schlong was so long!
Guy #2: Did you get HIV?
Guy #1: No, I tested myself. You stick the thing in your butt for, like, five minutes like a thermometer. It feels so good.
–Washington Square Park
Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category
Ugh, I’d Prefer the AIDS
Russki #1: You can have my girlfriend.
Russki #2: I don’t want your girlfriend, she has AIDS.
Russki #1: Use a condom.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: R
He’s Got the Top Half Right
Tween boy #1: You don’t know what AIDS is.
Tween boy #2: Yeah I do. AIDS are what you get when a boy sticks his pee-pee in a girl’s coochee and he gets a disease.
–C train
They Even Go to the Bathroom Crazy
Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, motherfucker!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I wasn’t looking–
Hobo: Mutherfuckin’ faggot. Probably same faggot pissin’ AIDS all over everybody. Oughta put a bullet up you ass…
–Grand Central men’s room
Overheard by: john chianese
A hobo has peed on himself.
Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bathroom without all you bitches starin’ like it’s something new?
–Prospect Park
They Say the Neon Lights Aren’t Too Bright on Broadway
Clueless girl: Wait, is Rent about AIDS?
Slightly less clueless girl: Yeah.
Clueless girl: Oh, shit! Now I get it!
–LIRR Train
Overheard by: c
Not Anymore, Right?
Male passenger: One of her daughters has head lice, so she didn’t come in to work today.
Female companion (wincing): That’s ridiculous! It’s not like she has AIDS or something!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Wednesday Ob/gyn-liners
Girl: I feel like if your vagina is wet enough, you won’t get AIDS.
–Kitchenette Uptown, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
…with a Hint of Lilac
Drunken passenger: Someone farted up in here. Shit smell like AIDS, man.
–W Train
Now It Really Can’t Donate Blood
Hobo: Wow! Your dog is skinny.
Woman: Well, we feed him but he doesn’t eat a lot and he gets a lot of exercise…
Hobo: No. That dog has AIDS.
–100th & Broadway
Although I Hear They Serve You Cocktails
Teen girl #1: Having a disease must suck.
Teen girl #2: Yeah. If I had AIDS, I would die.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Snoopy
