Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, motherfucker!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I wasn’t looking–
Hobo: Mutherfuckin’ faggot. Probably same faggot pissin’ AIDS all over everybody. Oughta put a bullet up you ass…
–Grand Central men’s room
Overheard by: john chianese
A hobo has peed on himself.
Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bathroom without all you bitches starin’ like it’s something new?
–Prospect Park
Archive for the ‘AIDS’ Category
They Say the Neon Lights Aren't Too Bright on Broadway
Clueless girl: Wait, is Rent about AIDS?
Slightly less clueless girl: Yeah.
Clueless girl: Oh, shit! Now I get it!
–LIRR Train
Overheard by: c
Not Anymore, Right?
Male passenger: One of her daughters has head lice, so she didn't come in to work today.
Female companion (wincing): That's ridiculous! It's not like she has AIDS or something!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Wednesday Ob/gyn-liners
Girl: I feel like if your vagina is wet enough, you won’t get AIDS. –Kitchenette Uptown, Amsterdam Avenue Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
…with a Hint of Lilac
Drunken passenger: Someone farted up in here. Shit smell like AIDS, man. –W Train
Now It Really Can’t Donate Blood
Hobo: Wow! Your dog is skinny.
Woman: Well, we feed him but he doesn’t eat a lot and he gets a lot of exercise…
Hobo: No. That dog has AIDS.
–100th & Broadway
Although I Hear They Serve You Cocktails
Teen girl #1: Having a disease must suck.
Teen girl #2: Yeah. If I had AIDS, I would die.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Snoopy
Presenting: The Worst Sentence Ever Spoken
Brainiac: Maybe AIDS wouldn’t be such a problem in Africa if they’d stop buttfucking each other so much. –Midtown office
At Your Age It’ll Never Get Past HIV
Old man #1: Man, that’s nasty.
Old man #2: Why do you say that? You don’t like to orally please your woman?
Old man #1: Man, I am afraid of getting AIDS in my teeth.
–51st & 5th
Wednesday One-Liners Can Still Lead a Normal Life
Pissed off gay guy on phone: What should you have said? Oh, I don’t know, maybe "Hi, I’m Michael, I have syphilis!" –13th & Broadway Guy: That’d be a great gig, but I don’t know if you want to be the face of venereal disease. –Cafe Esperanto Woman coming off train: Get away from me! You got AIDS on yo’ dick! –R Train Overheard by: going to the clinic Chick: As long as it’s not AIDS it’s okay. I’m vaccinated against everything except AIDS. –Columbia University 20-something male talking to friend: You know the way I see it: AIDS will kill you, herpes is just an inconvenience… –34th between 2nd and 3rd Overheard by: LadyEDdy Columbia student, on her public health exam: I just didn’t know where to put the gonorrhea! It had to go somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where! –School of Public Heatlh, Columbia University Loud guy: So he gave her a venereal disease. That’s not a reason to marry her! –Blue Hill Restaurant