Archive for the ‘Alphabet City’ Category

Without DNA Tests, the Second-Best Way to Determine Ethnicity Is Ass Size

Teen boy #1: Nah, nigga, she can’t be Spanish. She too skinny.
Teen boy #2: She’s Spanish, yo.
Teen boy #1: I tell you, she ain’t from Spain. She’s from Europe. She has a Euro-sounding name.
Teen boy #2: Maybe she’s Mexican.
Teen boy #1: Yeah, she could be Mexican. –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: Heather

Ta-Tas Prove Nothing in This Neighborhood, Mon Ami

Foreign girl #1 to lesbian entering ladies' room: I'm sorry, this is a ladies' room.
Lesbian: I'm a woman.
Foreign girl #1: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! That's the worst thing I've ever done!
Foreign girl #2, coming out of stall: Wait, no. You're so not a woman!
Lesbian: You wanna see the ta-tas? –Sidewalk Bar, 6th & Ave A

It's Wednesday One-Linas, Boo

Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully! –Ave B & 10th St Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son! –St. Marks Place Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird. –1st & 3rd Overheard by: Angela Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet! –7th Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ladle Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans! –CVS Overheard by: freshly brewed. Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common! –7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation! –Downtown D Train Overheard by: Raven