Archive for the ‘Anger Management’ Category

The Ant & the Grasshop­per (NYC Edi­tion)

Pro­mot­er guy: Come see a great com­e­dy show tonight! The tick­ets are just $5!
Chick: I can’t, I have to study.
Pro­mot­er guy: Oh come on, you don’t have to study.
Chick: I ac­tu­al­ly do, sor­ry.
Pro­mot­er guy: Study­ing will nev­er get you any­where.
Chick: Yeah, I’ll re­mem­ber that next time I’m sell­ing $5 tick­ets in the snow.

–West 3rd and Sul­li­van

Over­heard by: sarah­belle

One Life to Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Five-year-old boy to fa­ther: Is this an im­por­tant life les­son?

–14th & 6th

Over­heard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ig­nor­ing him: Hey, let’s go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here of­ten?

–Union Square

Over­heard by: ser­e­na

Woman, throw­ing Mc­Nuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: El­liot

Fran­tic crazy guy: I’m gonna go have a seat in Star­bucks and get my life to­geth­er!

–6th Ave & 25th St

Over­heard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that’s life, you screw peo­ple over and then you go to the Ba­hamas.

–Train in­to Penn Sta­tion

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Spell It “Am­i­nals”

Re­mem­ber That Whole Strike Thing?

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I wait­ed an hour for you to show up! Were you on a cof­fee break or what?
Bus dri­ver: Sir, that’s not pos­si­ble, the lead bus was on­ly ten min­utes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the de­pot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the re­al ter­ror­ists! You’re what Home­land Se­cu­ri­ty is try­ing to pro­tect us against!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry Ter­mi­nal, Stat­en Is­land

And Give Michael a Break–He’s On­ly Sev­en

Red haired woman: Damn it, Michael for­got to pack my lunch again. I am so pissed at him! Ar­rrrgh!
Big boobed woman: Shhh…shhh… Just get lunch at the store.
Red haired woman: Do they got ribs at the store? Do they got ribs at the store, Por­tia?
Big boobed woman: You could ask. They have pork.

–A Train

Over­heard by: Dun­can Pflaster

Jim Gaffi­gan: The Hor­ror!

Loud woman: You said you’d had Hot Pock­ets!
Qui­et woman: No, I…
Loud woman, in­ter­rupt­ing: Yes, you did! You told me you had had Hot Pock­ets!
Qui­et woman: I haven’t had Hot Pock­ets in weeks. Not since Evan*‘s par­ents were in town.
Loud woman: You told me you did just days ago! You lie! Li-ar!
Qui­et woman: No, I said the rea­son I had cake for break­fast is that I *ran out* of Hot Pock­ets!

–6th St & Ave A

Over­heard by: Rose Fox