Archive for the ‘Anger Management’ Category

Jim Gaffigan: The Horror!

Loud woman: You said you'd had Hot Pockets!
Quiet woman: No, I…
Loud woman, interrupting: Yes, you did! You told me you had had Hot Pockets!
Quiet woman: I haven't had Hot Pockets in weeks. Not since Evan*'s parents were in town.
Loud woman: You told me you did just days ago! You lie! Li-ar!
Quiet woman: No, I said the reason I had cake for breakfast is that I *ran out* of Hot Pockets!

–6th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Rose Fox

The Pogo Stick Made an Honest Woman Out of Her

Teen girl #1: I got a doctor’s appointment after school today. My mom saw this hickey and she’s taking me for a pregnancy test.
Teen boy: Yo, Mexican mom’s is crazy.
Teen girl #2: That sucks. If my mom ever tries to take me, I’m telling her it’s a civil rights violation.
Teen girl #1: I already got my excuse. I’m gonna say it busted when I was riding my bike.
Teen boy: No, that’s no good. Say you was jumpin’ up and down.

–7 train

Hey, Wednesday, Your One-Liner Is Showing!

Middle-aged woman, angrily on cell: You tell him to go outside right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sudden there's a naked man! Like, this doesn't translate well visually.

–Uptown 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Topless anarchy is still anarchy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Columbia University

Lucy and Linus Enter the 21st Century

Eight-year-old girl to little brother on bike: Hey, asshole!
Little brother: What? Are you talking to me?
Eight-year-old girl: Yeah, you're annoying me. You're pissin' me off!

–Central Park

Headline by: KateNonymous

Runners-Up:
· “And on That Day, Young Travis Bickle’s Life Took a Turn” – jlp
· “From the Rarely Seen First Episode Of the Donnie and Marie Show.” – Chris L
· “New Yorkers-in-Training” – Oren K
· “Sesame Street Has REALLY Changed” – Bob
· “When Cindy Mistook Her Dad’s Protein Shake for a Milkshake…” – fox

Click here to see the new Headline Contest