Man pointing at table: Oh, look — a Nagashima.
Woman: I hate George Nagashima. [Seeing the table] But I love his tables!
–International Art and Design Fair
Archive for the ‘Artists’ Category
Do Wednesday One-Liners Amuse You? Do They Exist to Make You Laugh?
Professor: Fat people are often funny.
–Baruch College
Girl to friend: When she OD’ed on him, it was so funny!
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy-looking middle aged woman on cell: The funniest thing today with the kids! They slammed me to the door and one of them bit my arm and I drew blood! (pauses) Yeah, I know, I’m going back tomorrow!
–F Train
Girl: So, like my friend thought it would be funny to jump in a pool that didn’t have water in it.
–8th St & Broadway
Brooklyn artist: After four or five organic vodka tonics, all the ironic hairstyles in the bar start to actually be funny.
–Williamsburg
Or We Can See Some Nudity
Poetry slam emcee: Hi, everyone! Wow, what a great turnout…I think you’re all Emma’s friends. She’s first, but we have a great line-up, so please don’t leave. Stay!
Emma’s friend, sotto voce: Dude, it’s a poetry reading, even Emma is leaving unless you give everyone another drink ticket.
–Grand Street & Driggs, Brooklyn
Choreography in One Lesson
Girl: The problem is her butt isn’t on his neck while she’s spinning around his head.
Boy: Well, she needs to arch her back more. Problem solved. Did you do the crossword?
–Juilliard cafeteria
And I Have This Walrus Fantasy…
Artsy girl #1: I think it would be fun to make out with Adam. You know, just to touch his chest a bit.
Artsy girl #2: But I thought you said that you think Adam is fat.
Artsy girl #1: He is fat.
Artsy girl #2: He is not fat.
Artsy girl #1: Okay… He’s not really fat, but he’s always been well-fed!
–Manhattan-bound L train
Howard Has Yet to Discover Internet Porn
Photographer: Where are you from?
Tourist: Holland.
Photographer: Oh…so you are used to seeing boobs. But here…it’s a big deal.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: dirty mike
Oh, Snap! Secretly Served!
Loser: You know what’s funny? I’m actually more creative when I have thumbnails.
Artist (overhearing him, under her breath): Then you’re not that creative.
–Holiday Markets, Union Square
Getting Served Left and Right
Teen subway dancer: Why you opening your mouth? No one’s talking to you.
Kid subway dancer: That’s why I got a mouth. So I can talk.
Teen subway dancer: I don’t like nosey niggers.
Kid subway dancer: At least I don’t sleep outside!
–D Train
Hey, It Works With All Three Definitions!
Artist: Where are you from?
Tourist: Israel.
Artist: Shalom.
–SoHo
Hmm, I Wonder Where It Was Headed?
Girl ballerina: Have you seen The Taking of Pelham 123?
Boy ballerina: No. What is that about?
Girl: It’s like… about two guys who hijack a 6 train.
–L Train
Overheard by: desmond barro
