One Life to Wednesday One-Liner

Five-year-old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let’s go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here often?

–Union Square

Overheard by: serena

Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Elliot

Frantic crazy guy: I’m gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!

–6th Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that’s life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.

–Train into Penn Station

Holy Crap– That’s My Other Fetish!

African pedestrian, checking out hot Asian girl: Hello.
Hot Asian girl, listening to iPod: Hi. (looks at pedestrian quizzically)
African pedestrian: Konichiwa. (smiles creepily at her)
Hot Asian girl: No inglés. (looks back at her iPod)

–Penn Station

Overheard by: ABC

So why was she wearing a Chris Isaak t‑shirt?

Young Asian woman at a party on the Lower East Side: “…and it turns out that Chris Isaak asked me out only because he has an Asian fetish, and he’s apparently dated every Asian girl in San Francisco, I was creeped out…”

It’s the Mexico of Asia

Old white man: I didn’t know they had cockfights in Korea.
Young Asian guy: Yep, sure do.

–1 train

Like a Celibate Priest With a Huge Dick

Tipsy attractive Asian lesbian to girlfriend: Oh, well. Actually, I just learned how to deep throat in December… Pretty awesome, once you get it down.
Tipsy, equally attractive girlfriend: My last girlfriend said she used to do it, too! Wow, men must hate me.

–Uptown 1 Train

Hence Shonen Knife’s Tomato Head

Black chick: Hey, come here, look. Did you know that Asians can’t drink? Look at her face. It’s all red.

–Diesel, West Broadway

Fine, Get All Master Po on Me

Mom, in Chinese: One bubble tea.
Daughter: Why do you know Chinese?
Mom: Why don’t you?

–Main St

Some People Have a Knack for Getting Right to the Heart of a Matter

White woman: How are things with John?
Asian woman: I don’t know. He’s just not manly enough for me. He listens to Miss Saigon at the gym. Maybe he has an Asian fetish.
White woman: Sounds more like he has a dick fetish.

–E Train

Overheard by: Brad

Eh, the Japanese Are the White People of Asia

Asian girl: Let’s get sushi.
Asian guy: I don’t like sushi.
Asian girl: You don’t like sushi? What kind of Asian are you?
Asian guy: Chinese.
Asian girl: But there’s even white people who like sushi!

–NYU

Overheard by: I like sushi

Wednesday One-Liners Won’t Remember This Tomorrow

Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].

–Metro North

Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!

–A Train

Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!

–A Train

Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…

–33rd & Broadway

Overheard by: voluptuousgrl

Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!

–Madison Square Garden Bathroom

Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Asians’ Category

One Life to Wednesday One-Liner

Holy Crap– That’s My Other Fetish!

So why was she wearing a Chris Isaak t‑shirt?

It’s the Mexico of Asia

Like a Celibate Priest With a Huge Dick

Hence Shonen Knife’s Tomato Head

Fine, Get All Master Po on Me

Some People Have a Knack for Getting Right to the Heart of a Matter

Eh, the Japanese Are the White People of Asia

Wednesday One-Liners Won’t Remember This Tomorrow