Archive for the ‘Asians’ Category

Wednesday One-liners

Woman: When you get to be my age, everybody looks like somebody. And some people pass by twice.

–Lincoln Center

Asian girl: Oh, no! No one had sex on the floor. I mean, OK, so a few of us girls were rolling around on the floor in our bra and panties or whatever but no one was having sex on the floor!

–St. John’s University

Overheard by: Megan Cowles

The Joy Luck Wednesday One-Liners

20-something guy on cell: I'm sure she wants to castrate me. (pause) Remember her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then uncontrollable laugh) I gots the yellow fever!

–59th St & 11th

Chinese brother to sister: All Asians get off at this stop. (looking out window) See? They're all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there's one English guy.

–Grand Street Stop, D Train

Overheard by: Justin W

Asian girl on cell: You know how people say all Asians look the same? Well, I realized something today. All white people look the same to me–I honestly can't tell them apart!

–Port Authority

20-something Asian girl on cell, in perfect American English: So, I just got welcomed to America for the second time today. Are my clothes that… (with disgust) Asian?

–Metro-North

Overheard by: RedShikari

Wednesday One-Linered…With Children

Old Jewish woman to very nervous Asian 25-year-old bride to be: Honey, I've been married 53 years. The secret to a great marriage? Give him lots of sex. Lots of good sex.

–Dumbo, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Tanya

Man on cell: I told her I would convert. We could go to Vegas and get married next week, no problem.

–64th & Amsterdam

Woman on phone: My ex-boyfriend was 24 and he was able to support me, and you're 35 on an engineer's salary and you can't do the same. Do you know how many guys are begging to marry me, and can give me a dowry? So fuck you!

–Target Store, Brooklyn

Hispanic woman on phone: So where are you now? You already married him? Oh, okay. See you later.

–28th & Park Avenue South

Overheard by: Alie

Five-year-old boy to teacher about five-year-old girl next to him: We're going to get married. (to five-year-old girl) What's your name again?

–61st & Amsterdam

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