Young Asian woman at a party on the Lower East Side: “…and it turns out that Chris Isaak asked me out only because he has an Asian fetish, and he’s apparently dated every Asian girl in San Francisco, I was creeped out…”
Old white man: I didn’t know they had cockfights in Korea.
Young Asian guy: Yep, sure do.
Tipsy attractive Asian lesbian to girlfriend: Oh, well. Actually, I just learned how to deep throat in December… Pretty awesome, once you get it down.
Tipsy, equally attractive girlfriend: My last girlfriend said she used to do it, too! Wow, men must hate me.
–Uptown 1 Train
Black chick: Hey, come here, look. Did you know that Asians can’t drink? Look at her face. It’s all red.
–Diesel, West Broadway
Mom, in Chinese: One bubble tea.
Daughter: Why do you know Chinese?
Mom: Why don’t you?
White woman: How are things with John?
Asian woman: I don’t know. He’s just not manly enough for me. He listens to Miss Saigon at the gym. Maybe he has an Asian fetish.
White woman: Sounds more like he has a dick fetish.
Overheard by: Brad
Asian girl: Let’s get sushi.
Asian guy: I don’t like sushi.
Asian girl: You don’t like sushi? What kind of Asian are you?
Asian guy: Chinese.
Asian girl: But there’s even white people who like sushi!
Overheard by: I like sushi
Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].
Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!
Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!
Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!
–Madison Square Garden Bathroom
Asian tourist with map out, blocking walking crowd: Excuse me, I’m looking for Houston street…
Suit, with high-pitched sarcasm: Really? [He keeps walking.]
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: a
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I’ll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I’m saying is: don’t jump on the first penis that comes along!
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for “penis” in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz