Archive for the ‘Assholes’ Category

Sure­ly She Does­n’t Mean Ronald reg­giN?

Woman: …you know, he was much dark­er than the oth­er kids who were re­al­ly white, so he was called a nig­ger. He was dyslex­ic.
Man: Wha?
Woman: But he was a strong boy. One time when he was bit­ten by a dog, I came in to his room and he was ly­ing there with blood on him. He did­n’t scream or say a word…a very strong boy.
Man: What are you talk­ing about?

–Times Square

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Rent Bronx Butt-Sluts

Hip­ster: And I was like, ‘Okay, well, here’s some ad­vice for you, then: Why don’t you peel a ba­nana and shove it up your ass?’

–Bed­ford Ave

Sassy black girl: Man, I love anal sex! That shit puts me to sleep!

–Man­hat­tan Mall

Over­heard by: Aus­ton McLain

Girl to guy: I am not shov­ing any­thing in your hole!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: mish

Mid­dle-aged man: Now I want you to take your dick out and fuck him in the ass.

–5th Ave & Union

Over­heard by: Stephen

Woman on cell: You tell him he bet­ter pay for it. I bet­ter get his mon­ey. He needs a dick up the ass, that’s what he needs. A fuck­ing dick up the ass. ‘Cause I got it. I got it all. So he bet­ter fuck­ing pay for it.

–Re­stroom, JFK

Over­heard by: co­lette

An­gry man to friend: Well, fuck you up the ass! You just don’t un­der­stand re­li­gion!

–Em­pire State Build­ing, 34th & 5th

Over­heard by: Wendy Booz

… Ma’am

La­dy: Con­trary to what you may think about your mom, she did a good job teach­ing you man­ners.
Man: Fuck you.

–33rd & Park

Over­heard by: Erik