AirTran flight attendant over intercom: We hope you ladies and gentlemen had a nice flight, and we ask that you all press your faces against the windows so Delta can see what a full flight looks like.
Airline employee over loudspeaker: Last call for John Smith* to board flight 1234.
Airline loudspeaker, 10 minutes later: Seriously, last call for John Smith* for flight 1234.
Airline Loudspeaker, 10 more minutes later: Okay, John Smith, you know we love you, but the plane has to take off now!
Overheard by: Kim
Flight attendant: The captain has advised us that our flying time will be quick, at an altitude of high and a speed of fast.
Flight attendant: We do encounter bumps between the runway and the gate — that’s not my fault. It’s not even the captain’s fault. It’s the asphalt.
Flight Attendant: Thank you for flying US Airways, and have a happy… happy… what the hell holiday is this? Columbus? Psssh, that ain’t no holiday. Have a good week!
American Airline pilot: Ok guys, we’re just waiting on some United dude to clear our tail so we can push.
–La Guardia Airport — about to take off
Overheard by: So K
Pilot flying into LaGuardia: If you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the beautiful, famous downtown skyline of Manhattan. [Pause.] And if you look out the left side… [pause, sighing] New Jersey.
Overheard by: mj kiran