Archive for the ‘Athletes’ Category

Imag­ine How Rude Peo­ple Would Be With­out the Cour­tesy Cops

Hobo, eat­ing a chick­en ke­bab: I want me some pussy. I don’t care where it’s from. I just re­al­ly want me some pussy to fuck. I wan­na make her pussy go (sticks tongue out of mouth) pfffffffff.
Girl on street: Al­right. That’s enough.

–W 4th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: KTand­Sheila

Mex­i­cans by Os­mo­sis Are One of the Most Press­ing Im­mi­gra­tion Is­sues

Big black dude #1: You want to leave all the white women to me? That’s fine.
Big black dude #2: Oh, [laughs], I don’t have a prob­lem get­ting white women. I’m half In­di­an and half Puer­to Ri­can. I got that Boricua thing go­ing.
Big black dude #1: Oh, shit. Well, I got Mex­i­can in my fam­i­ly…
Small­er black dude: You part Mex­i­can? Where were you born?
Big black dude #1: Well, I was born in Haiti, but I grew up in the Bronx, and my un­cle re­cent­ly mar­ried a Mex­i­can.

–Chang­ing room, Church St Box­ing gym, Church & Park

Yo’ Ma­ma’s So Wednes­day, She’s a One-Lin­er!

Sleazy bik­er, tak­ing a bot­tle from marathon re­lief ta­ble: My moth­er al­ways told me I should be bot­tle-fed.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Un­com­fort­able vol­un­teer

NYU stu­dent on cell, an­gri­ly: I was try­ing to show your mom a good time so I would­n’t have to stick my dick in her again!

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: chris k.

Gui­do on cell: So you fucked the moth­er *and* the daugh­ter?

–23rd & 3rd

Guy to girl: Any­thing over 50 is a su­per milf!

–Chelsea

Teen to friend: Cause I ain’t no full-time ma­ma. I’m a part-time ma­ma.

–Church & Cham­bers

Mid­dle aged hip­ster with pony­tail and gray streaked goa­tee: I’m a soc­cer mom!

–Times Square