Archive for the ‘Babies’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are One Baaaad Moth­er– Shut Yo’ Mouth!

Cute JAP talk­ing about all the stuff she gets: I don’t need a man, I have my mom.

–Rare View Bar

Over­heard by: white guy

Blonde girl to male friend: Lis­ten, John. Fif­teen min­utes, your mom. Fif­teen min­utes, your mom.

–R Train

An­noy­ing 40-some­thing new mom: A good mom al­ways has a di­a­per in her pock­et!

–Barnes & No­ble, 18th & 5th

Over­heard by: I Am McLovey

Cowork­er: I got a boot­leg moth­er.

–Mid­town

Win­dow-shop­ping tourist to wife: Look, hon­ey! It’s the dress your moth­er wore when they buried her!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: CJ

Guy: I go over to the house for Moth­er’s Day and she yells at me for not call­ing her for Moth­er’s Day like my broth­er did. So I go out­side and call her from my cell and say “hap­py Moth­er’s Day!” and she yells at me for be­ing an id­iot.

–37th & 7th

Holy Crap, Some­one Please Tape That Call

Thug kid: When are you hav­ing that damn ba­by?
Preg­gers: I was due last week and I want a C‑section but the doc­tor said we should­n’t do it yet.
Thug kid: I’­ma call that doc­tor to­mor­row and tell him to take that nig­ga out.

–Williams­burg

Over­heard by: An­tho­ny Am­i­co

It’s All Greek to Me

Busi­ness­guy: It’s a small world.
Busi­ness­chick: Es­pe­cial­ly in As­to­ria!
Busi­ness­guy: Ha, ha, ha!
Busi­ness­chick: Hee, hee.

–Mid­town of­fice