Archive for the ‘Baby Mama/Daddy’ Category

Wednes­day One­sie Lin­ers

Woman on cell, loud­ly: No, no, my baby’s get­ting fixed that day!

–5th Ave

Yup­pie thug in three-piece suit, loud­ly on cell while rid­ing es­ca­la­tor: So you sayin’ it’s mines? How you know it’s mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain’t been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain’t been no ba­by sprung up out­ta my dick! I ain’t no adop­tion agency!

–Bor­ders, Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: IJust­Want­to­Browse­Madon­na’s­Broth­er’sTell-AllinPeace

20-some­thing male on cell: What did I tell you about hav­ing sex with peo­ple who have baby­ma­ma prob­lems? That’s why I gave up my crush on Bris­tol Palin.

–110th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Top­i­cal

Black la­dy with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y’all are not fit­ting in­to this car. Stop pushin’ up on my ba­by. Y’all need to back that shit up now. (ba­by starts cry­ing) What do you want? What do you want? Are you hav­ing hot flash­es? Cause I know I am. Je­sus!

–Down­town 6 Train

Over­heard by: Alie

Black woman: Of all his baby­ma­mas, why he al­way both­er­ing her? He has all these baby­ma­mas and he’s al­ways bug­ging her. She must still be puttin’ out.

–34th & Broad­way

Very young preg­nant woman pur­chas­ing cig­a­rettes on: What the hell kind of dif­fer­ence does what you eat have on what kind of ba­by you have?

–Nos­trand & Dean, Crown Heights

Over­heard by: Siob­han

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Click “It’s Com­pli­cat­ed”

Chick: It’s about your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty, and if your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty does­n’t want to be in a re­la­tion­ship with me on Face­book, that’s okay!

–NYU Hay­den Stair­case

Co­ed: I don’t know… if Sh­eryl* with the two kids by the two dif­fer­ent ba­by-dad­dies can have a good My­Space, I think pret­ty much any­one should be able to do it.

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Im­mac­u­latePiz­za

Hip­ster girl: It looks like My­Space ex­plod­ed in there!

–The Knit­ting Fac­to­ry, 74 Leonard St

Over­heard by: Cassie

20-some­thing girl: So, the quad­ri­pleg­ic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Face­book last night.

–Chipo­tle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, re­al­ly.

–Near Hol­land Tun­nel

Over­heard by: Claire H.

An­gry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not chang­ing my Face­book sta­tus!

–6th & Ave A

Over­heard by: Kremil­yse

30-ish woman: I said I would­n’t date him ’til he gets rid of the ty­pos on his My­Space pro­file… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Din­er, Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: ball-and-vein­ing tool