Archive for the ‘Bag ladies’ Category

Don’t Give Me None of That “Light Through Yon­der Breaks” Shit, Nei­ther

Crazy bag la­dy on the l train: It is the win­ter of our dis­con­tent!
Ghet­to girl #1: I dun­no what you talkin’ bout. It’s con­tent up in this moth­er­fuckin’ win­ter. Maybe your ass would be con­tenter if you got a job.
Ghet­to girl #2: Girl, shut up. You ain’t got no job ei­ther.

–L Train

Over­heard by: ForniKate

…For Your Mr. Peanut Cos­tume.

Bag la­dy with a cane: Ex­cuse me, ladies and gen­tle­man! I don’t mean to both­er you but…
Crazy hobo, in­ter­rupt­ing: Then don’t! I hate peo­ple who say “sor­ry to both­er you.” Just stop both­er­ing me!
Bag la­dy with a cane: Fuck you!
Crazy hobo: You ain’t even re­al­ly crip­pled! I sold you that cane!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Sara Swank

Are You Afraid of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

FD­NY lieu­tenant to EMTs: Hey, get this! Some guy just called 911 be­cause some guy looked scary!

–34th & 10th

Over­heard by: guy in back of am­bu­lance

Gay guy to an­oth­er: I’m ter­ri­fied of suc­cess­ful women!

–23rd & Park Ave

Over­heard by: Moy

(guy with drums fin­ish­es a per­for­mance in the train)
Guy with drums: Ladies and gen­tle­men, thank you for lis­ten­ing. Help a broth­er out and do­nate some mon­ey if you en­joyed this per­for­mance. (la­dy in front of him looks scared)
Please do­nate and if you don’t know what to do or are scared, smile and nod. Every­thing will be okay.

–E Train

Over­heard by: Sleepy

Crazy bag la­dy to high school boy: I ain’t scared of you. I’ll beat you with a crow­bar. Cuz I got­ta crow­bar in my pussy and it’s way up there!

–B54 Bus

Suit on cell: And I was scared, right? Be­cause her legs were open in the ceme­tery.

–Gramer­cy Park

Some­one Should Com­plain to Her Soup-ervi­sor

Bag la­dy: Ladies and gen­tle­men, my hus­band and I are home­less. We can’t stay at our shel­ter dur­ing the day so we come on the train to get food. To­day we are ask­ing for mon­ey so we can do laun­dry. Any­thing you can give will help.
Hobo: Why don’t you just ad­mit that you’re gonna buy crack? I’m in the same line of work, don’t be­lieve her.

–N train