Archive for the ‘Beastiality’ Category

Is It Sick That I Wednes­day on Their One-Lin­ers?

Guy on phone: It’s prob­a­bly some­thing be­yond the bes­tial­i­ty in why you did­n’t get hired.

–4th & Lafayette

Over­heard by: andy

Dis­em­bod­ied voice in crowd: Necrophil­ia, re­al­ly?

–Times Square

Man: The thing is: my safe­ty word is “No, hard­er, hard­er.”

–NY Com­ic Con

Girl: No, se­ri­ous­ly, my par­ents used to have like a har­ness and a leash for me, be­cause I used to run away in the air­port all the time.

–Ford­ham Law School

Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Over­heard by: Will

Guy: Great. She does­n’t even know me and al­ready she thinks I have a pro­duce fetish.

–Whole Foods, Chelsea

Over­heard by: Hunter (aka,

We Checked, It’s Re­al. Ick.

Brunette us­ing com­put­er: Have you ever posed naked?
Blonde: Yeah, my ex-boyfriend post­ed a video of me on the net.
Brunette: Re­al­ly? What’s the URL?
Blonde: An­i­mal boinks dot com*.
Brunette, find­ing site: Now what?
Blonde: Click ‘Ta­mi*.‘
Brunette: Oh my god! Is that you?
Blonde: Yeah.
Brunette: You’re fuck­ing a dog!
Blonde: My ex-boyfriend begged me for months to do that.
Brunette: I like man dick. I even like pussy… How could you fuck a dog, you sick bitch?
Blonde: Fuck you! At least I’m not a les­bian!
Brunette: At least I stick to my own species!
Blonde: Dyke!
Brunette: Sick bitch! You fuck pigs and hors­es, too?
Blonde: No, just dogs. It was my ex-boyfriend’s idea. And at least I’m not a les­bian.
Brunette: At least I’m not on the net with a pooch eat­ing my cooch!
Chi­nese nerd-boy at next com­put­er: This is the best con­ver­sa­tion I ever heard in my life!

–In­ter­net café, Mott St, Chi­na­town

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

The As­to­ria Poster-Chil­dren Were Fired Short­ly There­after

Young punk #1: Where’s the fuck­ing n train? Can we get NRW in this shit… (pause) So my friend was all coked out and fuck­ing this girl in the ass, then he to­tal­ly lost it and start­ed piss­ing right in her ass­hole.
Young punk #2: Woah…did she no­tice?
Young punk #1: Of course she no­ticed, he was piss­ing in her fuck­ing ass­hole! (train ar­rives) Oh, sweet, it’s the n!
Young punk #2: Yes! As­to­ria rep­re­sent!

–Union Square, Wait­ing for the NRW

Al­though It’s Pos­si­ble Neve Camp­bell Is Still Alive

Prep­py teen boy #1: No, dude. She was in love with hors­es, re­mem­ber? She liked screw­ing them — that’s how she died.
Prep­py teen boy #2: No, no. That is not true. It was some ac­ci­dent hav­ing to do with hors­es.
Prep­py teen boy #1: Yeah, ex­act­ly. She was screw­ing the horse, and then it fell on her. That’s how she died.
Prep­py teen boy #2: Dude, that’s so wrong.

–45th St

Over­heard by: wow