Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Beastiality’ Category

Is It Sick That I Wednesday on Their One-Liners?

Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.

–4th & Lafayette

Overheard by: andy

Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?

–Times Square

Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."

–NY Comic Con

Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.

–Fordham Law School

Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Will

Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.

–Whole Foods, Chelsea

Overheard by: Hunter (aka,

We Checked, It’s Real. Ick.

Brunette using computer: Have you ever posed naked?
Blonde: Yeah, my ex-boyfriend posted a video of me on the net.
Brunette: Really? What’s the URL?
Blonde: Animal boinks dot com*.
Brunette, finding site: Now what?
Blonde: Click ‘Tami*.’
Brunette: Oh my god! Is that you?
Blonde: Yeah.
Brunette: You’re fucking a dog!
Blonde: My ex-boyfriend begged me for months to do that.
Brunette: I like man dick. I even like pussy… How could you fuck a dog, you sick bitch?
Blonde: Fuck you! At least I’m not a lesbian!
Brunette: At least I stick to my own species!
Blonde: Dyke!
Brunette: Sick bitch! You fuck pigs and horses, too?
Blonde: No, just dogs. It was my ex-boyfriend’s idea. And at least I’m not a lesbian.
Brunette: At least I’m not on the net with a pooch eating my cooch!
Chinese nerd-boy at next computer: This is the best conversation I ever heard in my life!

–Internet café, Mott St, Chinatown

Overheard by: Big Larry

The Astoria Poster-Children Were Fired Shortly Thereafter

Young punk #1: Where's the fucking n train? Can we get NRW in this shit… (pause) So my friend was all coked out and fucking this girl in the ass, then he totally lost it and started pissing right in her asshole.
Young punk #2: Woah…did she notice?
Young punk #1: Of course she noticed, he was pissing in her fucking asshole! (train arrives) Oh, sweet, it's the n!
Young punk #2: Yes! Astoria represent!

–Union Square, Waiting for the NRW

Although It’s Possible Neve Campbell Is Still Alive

Preppy teen boy #1: No, dude. She was in love with horses, remember? She liked screwing them — that’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: No, no. That is not true. It was some accident having to do with horses.
Preppy teen boy #1: Yeah, exactly. She was screwing the horse, and then it fell on her. That’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: Dude, that’s so wrong.

–45th St

Overheard by: wow