Archive for the ‘Beauty’ Category

The Kind Of Thing We’ve Come to Ex­pect from Blondie.

Blonde in con­vert­ible: Hey, cutie!
Suit: (turns around briefly, keeps walk­ing)
Blonde: Hey! With the nice ass, we were talk­ing to you!
Suit, walk­ing back to con­vert­ible: Yes?
Blonde: My friend here thinks you’re cute and wants your num­ber.
Suit: Uh… I’m flat­tered, but I have a fi­ancee, so I’ll pass.
Brunette dri­ver: I did­n’t ask if you were sin­gle, I said you had a nice ass and I want your num­ber.
Suit: Again, thanks, but no.
Brunette: How about I give you mine?
Blonde: You know, for when the mar­riage does­n’t work out.
Suit: Yeah, no. But you girls have a great day.

–3rd Ave & 46th St

Or If We Were an Alien Race That Mat­ed Through Our Hands

Short, fat, tooth­less-sound­ing woman: What we do is not dis­grace­ful. There’s noth­ing dis­grace­ful about you.
Tall thin man, with boom box in hand: No.
Short, fat, tooth­less-sound­ing woman: There’s noth­ing dis­grace­ful about me.
Tall thin man: No.
Short, fat, tooth­less-sound­ing woman: It’s the sin that’s dis­grace­ful. Us, hold­ing hands, how we show our love, that’s fine. It would be a whole dif­fer­ent sto­ry if I was­n’t mar­ried, but I am.

–Es­sex & De­lancey

Over­heard by: nb

No Van­i­ty-Based Busi­ness Plan Can Fail in New York

Ja­maican guy hold­ing full length mir­ror: One dol­lar to look at your­self in the mir­ror! One dol­lar! I am the first to come up with this idea! Don’t steal it, or I’ll sue you… [He’s ig­nored.] Okay, first time is free! C’­mon, first time free! Or gimme a quar­ter!
Laugh­ing kid: Yo, what are you smok­ing, man?
Ja­maican guy: I smoke blood! I don’t drink blood, I smoke blood!
Un­re­lat­ed Ja­maican girl: Why you so loud? Shut up al­ready.
Ja­maican guy: I’m sor­ry, ma. You’re so beau­ti­ful. I look at you, I just can’t be­lieve how beau­ti­ful you are. How ’bout you gimme one dol­lar, look in the mir­ror?

–6 train

Over­heard by: Sam Mc­Der­mott