Archive for the ‘Beauty’ Category

Then It Changed to Crocs, and We All Cried.

Girl #1: When Annie is in a relationship, she's really serious. But when she was single she went through what we like to call the “sit on your face” phase.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: She'd go up to a guy in the bar we were in and say, “man, you look so good tonight. I might just sit on your face later.”
(girl #2 laughs)
Girl #1: Yeah… “sit on your face” was the new black for a while.

–Pig 'n' Whistle Bar

Overheard by: Ellen

Ever Since I Accidentally Tripped Over Them

Tall girl: I think I saw his brother in the chorus of a show I saw for my job.
Short girl: Word.
Tall girl: Yeah.
Short girl: Yeah. There's four of them. And they're all beautiful. It's so not fair. I'm weird-looking and, according to my grandma, my brother looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Sanjay Gupta.
Tall girl: And your parents are short Jews.
Short girl: I can't believe you remember that.

–Downtown 1 Train

“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”

Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…

–Wendy's, Union Square

Overheard by: Hungry Bystander

Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.

–American Eagle, SoHo

Overheard by: Holly

Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.

–Downtown 4 Train

50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.

–Boat Basin Cafe

Overheard by: Megan W.

Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!

–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Who Let the Wednesday One-Liners Out?

Queer, to his German Shepherd: Steven, don’t play these mind games with me!

–23rd & 8th

Man, restraining his dog from following another dog across the street: C’mon, buddy. It wasn’t meant to be.

–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You’re just cuter than her. That’s why she’s so upset.

–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: sara n.

Cop to his whining German Shepherd: Awww, what’s wrong baby? Did you see an asshole?

–West 4th Station