Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy

Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that’s how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.

–Fordham University

20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It’s like an elevator, but opposite.

–N Train

Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me.

–Astoria

20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn’t fall down an elevator shaft?

–F Train

Speaking of Which: Drinking out of Toilets? Fabulous.

Chick #1: … I don’t know…
Chick #2: Trust me — he wants it, but he’ll never ask. You do it by surprise, and he’ll, like, cum all over you.
Chick #1: It just seems nasty.
Chick #2: Yeah, it’s nasty — that’s why guys like it! And I guess it feels good. I mean, boy dogs lick their own, right?

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Manhattman

Dating Riddle #486: If They Got Married, Who’d Be Settling More?

Dorky guy: Maybe I’ll take you to Lucky Cheng’s.
Date: Huh?
Dorky guy: I thought you’d heard of it. See, men dress up as women there. They’re called transvestites. Some of them even have had surgery. I won’t really take you there. I just wanted to understand your thought process. See how you react when I throw something like that out there.
Date: What? Are you taking me there?

–14th St

Still Taking Adolessons

Bimbette #1: I don’t want to grow up. The real world is scary.
Bimbette #2: Yeah… Puberty sucks.
Bimbette #1: Ummm, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure puberty is done when you’re, like, fifteen. We’re 18 now…
Bimbette #2: Oh. Well, maybe I’m a late bloomer.

–UES

Overheard by: Allie

She’s the Cob, and They’re the Cornholders

Girl: There’s a Duane Reade.
Guy #1: What do we need a Duane Reade for?
Girl: If we’re gonna do this, you guys both have to be wearing condoms.

–84th & Broadway

Suit #1: But what happens if our cocks accidentally touch?
Suit #2: Well…we’re both adults, we’ll just have to deal with it. 

–52nd & Lexington