Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Whose Life Is It If You’re Not There for It? Discuss.

Well-dressed 20-something woman: So yeah, I keep having sex with all these beautiful women, and then I have no memory of it whatsoever…
Well-dressed 20-something man: You’re so lucky. I was roofied once, but my friends were with me the whole time. When I went to the doctor and got blood tests and they found Rohypnol in my system, I was like “and I didn’t even fucking get laid?” (pause) That was literally my first reaction.

–Bowery & Prince

Overheard by: Sealed Beverage Drinker

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Eugenics

Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.

Headline by: johnny pissoff

Runners-Up:

· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” — Stitches

· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” — one L

· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” — Heidi

· “Besides, i dont speak german…” — senny

· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” — Katie

· “Going Down, But Not Under” — sigh

· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” — mp

· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” — 08kjl


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Even More Now that I Know She Pees in Hobo Jars!

NYU ditz #1: So, this hobo on the train is selling Paris Hilton’s urine as perfume! It was all yellow in a jar and he was like, ‘Yeah, she took a piss and I’ve got it to sell — 20 bucks a pop.‘
NYU ditz #2: No freaking way — what did it smell like?
NYU ditz #1: Like urine — I just can’t believe he collected her urine… [Baffled pause] You think it was really hers? I love Paris Hilton!

–Starbucks corner, Washington Square

Whether You Find This Cute or Pathetic Says a Lot About You As a Person

Hair-twirling woman: I did actually put sex on the calendar, because it’s only been four months. That’s not long enough for us to stop having sex yet! And I put it on his iPhone, so it popped up a reminder in the middle of the day too, and was all, “don’t forget, sex tonight!” He was like, “this is the worst idea ever.” And then we had dinner and the alarm went off and I was like, “we have to have sex now, the iPhone said so!” And we did… and afterwards he was like, “that was amazing, why don’t we do that all the time?”

–W 4th St

Overheard by: Rose Fox