Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Wait, So Where Are We, Again?

Chick #1: Which one of these coun­tries does not bor­der Ar­genti­na? Brazil, Uruguay, Pe­ru, or Bo­livia?
Chick #2: Pe­ru, duh.
Chick #3: Ob­vi­ous­ly. [Makes note on pa­per, read­ing aloud] Pe­ru, Eu­rope.
Chick #2: Pe­ru’s not in Eu­rope, dude.
Chick #3: No, no, be­cause all the oth­er coun­tries are in South Amer­i­ca, the rea­son Pe­ru is­n’t con­nect­ed is be­cause it’s in Eu­rope!


Step Three: Re­vise Facts to Fit Hy­poth­e­sis

Girl #1: So, you’re a veg­e­tar­i­an?
Girl #2: Yep. Eat­ing an­i­mals kills.
Girl #1: Wait, but you had sushi the oth­er night.
Girl #2: Fish does­n’t count. It’s, like, not an an­i­mal.
Girl #1: Huh? Yeah, it is. It, like, breathes and stuff.
Girl #2: But it’s un­der­wa­ter.
Girl #1: No, it’s an an­i­mal, ’cause it moves around and swims.
Girl #2: Then how come I can eat it?


Think of the Starv­ing Ba­by Birds in Africa

Guy on cell: Yeah…right…uh huh…hold on a sec­ond.

He leans over and throws up on the side­walk.

Guy on cell: What were you say­ing?

–59th & 5th

Over­heard by: Jeff Hub­bard

Woman #1: I wan­na get re­al­ly stoned so I can throw up.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Just to know I can.


Girl: I want to throw up. Like, I have some puke in the back of my throat.

–Broad­way & West 4th

Over­heard by: Ju­lia