Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Just Don’t Try to Fill Them Up With Dirt

Bim­bette daugh­ter: So, you like, had to, like, grow corn and shit when you were lit­tle?
Old hip­pie fa­ther: Yeah, be­fore I moved to Ore­gon. We had cows.
Bim­bette daugh­ter: Ewww! You had to milk cows?
Old hip­pie fa­ther: Yeah, but cows don’t help with house­hold chores, though. On­ly croc­o­diles can do that.
Bim­bette daugh­ter: Word.

–Barnes & No­ble

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Dim­mer Than a Flint­stones Night Light

Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stu­pid.

–The Flame Din­er, 58th St & 9th Ave

Woman to man: But they were on­ly stop­ping the dum­b­ass­es… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.

–W 66th St & Am­s­ter­dam Ave

Over­heard by: Su­san Vol­chok

(Blonde is hav­ing trou­ble hail­ing cab dur­ing rush hour)
Gyp­sy cab dri­ver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stu­pid!

–116th & Broad­way

20-some­thing guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stu­pid you are.

–4th St Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Glad I’m not dat­ing him

Girl: Alex­is, we’ve been over this. You’re stu­pid.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Cros­by

Bim­bette, yelling in­to cell: Yo! Look who you’re talk­ing to–I’m not ex­act­ly the smartest per­son in the world!

–Am­s­ter­dam Ave

Over­heard by: dumb as a rock

Well, That Was 20 Sec­onds of Read­ing Time We’ll Nev­er Get Back

Hot chick on cell: Yeah, no… Like, I’m pret­ty con­vinced that Patrick* is, like, to­tal­ly gay. Well, be­cause when we, like, dat­ed, he would al­ways want to go shop­ping and take, like, the longest time, like al­ways study­ing how tight jeans made his ass look. And, like, he told me how his best friend end­ed up be­ing, like, uber-gay, and like, he would al­ways say, like, ran­dom shit like, ‘Y’­know, like, peo­ple you don’t even, like, know could be gay.’ I’d be like, ‘O‑M-G — what?!’ And, like, the en­tire time we went out, we on­ly had sex, like, once, and that was when I, like, lost my vir­gin­i­ty… No, I did­n’t con­sid­er it the of­fi­cial, like, time I ac­tu­al­ly lost my V‑card be­cause he could­n’t even, like, get it up… No, we were not drunk! I’m not like that big of a slut… Or at least, I was­n’t then.


Still Tak­ing Ado­lessons

Bim­bette #1: I don’t want to grow up. The re­al world is scary.
Bim­bette #2: Yeah… Pu­ber­ty sucks.
Bim­bette #1: Um­mm, I don’t know about you, but I’m pret­ty sure pu­ber­ty is done when you’re, like, fif­teen. We’re 18 now…
Bim­bette #2: Oh. Well, maybe I’m a late bloomer.


Over­heard by: Al­lie

But I Al­so Like Clean­ing and Suck­ing Cock!

Hot south­ern girl #1: So, be­fore I came up here my mom is like, “Be very care­ful around those north­ern boys, they think all south­ern girls just love to cook and fuck.“
Hot south­ern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you se­ri­ous? They think that? That’s so messed up!
Hot south­ern girl #1: I know!
Hot south­ern girl #2: But I re­al­ly do love to cook… And fuck.
Hot south­ern girl #1: I know… Me too.

–Union Square Cafe

Over­heard by: Mov­ing South

I’m Pret­ty Sure It’s Called The G Spot

Girl #1: Man, if I’m go­ing to go to that par­ty tonight, I got­ta shave my hair.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. Where is the best price around here?
Girl #3: There’s one on Lex­ing­ton by my place, and a guy does it, and he’s so hot I just want him to ac­ci­den­tal­ly shove his dick up me.
Girl #2: Then we’ll go to that place!

–6 Train

Over­heard by: An­drew