Biotech #1: He hired this blonde girl from Chicago… with pageant hair!
Biotech #2: Ew. Pageant hair? Hello, this is New York City. We aren’t blonde, and we aren’t perky!
–6 train
Archive for the ‘Biotechs’ Category
I Hear Massachusetts Wedding Bells!
Dude: Hey, watch it! Hey!
Old guy: What?
Dude: That’s very rude.
Old guy: I said “excuse me”.
Dude: Well I didn’t hear it.
Old guy: Well maybe you should listen next time.
Dude: Well maybe you should kiss my ass, fag.
Old guy: Fuck off and die.
–Borders men’s room, 32nd & 2nd
And by That I Mean ‘Painfully Straight’
Girl #1: He was just the most amazing guy — he said the most amazing things to me. I just wanted to run away with him.
Girl #2: That’s gay.
–Barnard College
I Been in the Back of a Lot of Trucks
Biotech #1: Jersey girls ain’t trash — trash gets picked up!
Biotech #2: Hahaha!
NJ girl passerby, defensively: I get picked up!
–Penn Station
I’m Thankful for My Friends
Girl #1: Is your sweater cashmere?
Girl #2: Yeah. Well, cashmere blend.
Girl #1: Blend? That doesn’t count. God, you’re such a bitch.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Somewhere, A Sardine is Turning Green with Envy
Two tween girls push into a very crowded train, causing a woman to almost lose her footing.
Woman: You can’t just push if there’s nowhere to go!
The doors start to close.
Tween girl: Obviously I could.
–6 train
Overheard by: Francesca
But I’m Not Sure I See the Comparison to the Fall of Rome
Trendy teen girl #1: You know, it’s like a fat girl who has a really pretty face…
Trendy teen girl #2: Oh my god, I hate that!
–Tribeca
Unfortunately, I Said It into the Intercom
20-something chick: So yeah, I didn’t even care when this girl at my school died.
Friend: Whoa…
20-something chick: Well, she broke my friend’s leg!
Friend: Oh…
20-something chick: When the principal was having the moment of silence, I was like, ‘Geez, she didn’t take this long to die!‘
Friend: Dude…
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Dude, Would You Please Cowboy Up?
Desperate law student: But I love you!
Heartless biotech: That’s your problem, not mine.
Desperate law student: I can’t live without you.
Heartless biotech: So don’t.
Desperate law student: You wouldn’t even care if I killed myself, would you?
Heartless biotech: Not unless you decided to do it in front of my house and I had to have police and the media there. Then I’d be pissed.
Desperate law student: How can you be so cruel to someone who loves you so much?
Heartless biotech: Oh, just one thing — if you do decide to kill yourself try to do it the week of August sixth, ’cause I’ll be in Martha’s Vineyard with Jason then.
–Brooklyn Law School library
Overheard by: Big Larry — cringing with empathy
Probably Best to Have Your Coffee at Work
Chick #1: What were you doing and why were you walking so hard?
Chick #2: The elevator man kept going up and down and missed my stop, and I really had to pee, so I had to rush to this floor and use the bathroom. I’ve been holding it since Brooklyn, and I peed on myself a little. My pants are wet.
Chick #3: What?!
Chick #1 starts laughing hysterically.
Chick #2 stomps away, screaming: I hate you!
Chick #1: I’m not laughing at you! I’m not laughing at you!
–57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bdizzle
