Two tween girls push into a very crowded train, causing a woman to almost lose her footing.
Woman: You can’t just push if there’s nowhere to go!
The doors start to close.
Tween girl: Obviously I could.
–6 train
Overheard by: Francesca
Archive for the ‘Biotechs’ Category
But I’m Not Sure I See the Comparison to the Fall of Rome
Trendy teen girl #1: You know, it’s like a fat girl who has a really pretty face…
Trendy teen girl #2: Oh my god, I hate that!
–Tribeca
Unfortunately, I Said It into the Intercom
20-something chick: So yeah, I didn’t even care when this girl at my school died.
Friend: Whoa…
20-something chick: Well, she broke my friend’s leg!
Friend: Oh…
20-something chick: When the principal was having the moment of silence, I was like, ‘Geez, she didn’t take this long to die!‘
Friend: Dude…
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Dude, Would You Please Cowboy Up?
Desperate law student: But I love you!
Heartless biotech: That’s your problem, not mine.
Desperate law student: I can’t live without you.
Heartless biotech: So don’t.
Desperate law student: You wouldn’t even care if I killed myself, would you?
Heartless biotech: Not unless you decided to do it in front of my house and I had to have police and the media there. Then I’d be pissed.
Desperate law student: How can you be so cruel to someone who loves you so much?
Heartless biotech: Oh, just one thing — if you do decide to kill yourself try to do it the week of August sixth, ’cause I’ll be in Martha’s Vineyard with Jason then.
–Brooklyn Law School library
Overheard by: Big Larry — cringing with empathy
Probably Best to Have Your Coffee at Work
Chick #1: What were you doing and why were you walking so hard?
Chick #2: The elevator man kept going up and down and missed my stop, and I really had to pee, so I had to rush to this floor and use the bathroom. I’ve been holding it since Brooklyn, and I peed on myself a little. My pants are wet.
Chick #3: What?!
Chick #1 starts laughing hysterically.
Chick #2 stomps away, screaming: I hate you!
Chick #1: I’m not laughing at you! I’m not laughing at you!
–57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bdizzle
Wednesday One-Liners Go for the Jugular
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I’ve been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark’s
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
Then Pay Me a Dollar Not to Clean It
Hobo: Hey, can I clean the snow off your car for a dollar?
Girl cleaning car: Ummm, no way.
Hobo: Even when it’s cold white people are assholes.
Girl cleaning car, to passerby: I don’t want his smelly ass touching my baby.
–115th St & Frederick Douglass Blvd
Overheard by: Paula
In New York, All the Prettiest Girls Are Boys
Girl #1: Well, you know, you are very pretty…
Girl #2: Look at my fucking hands! Do I look like a fucking tranny to you?! [Throws shopping bag at #1.]
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: wtf???
Melinda Experiences Multi-Level Embarrassment
Guy: I have a confession to make.
Girl: Can’t you make it to me after the movie?
Guy: I can’t help it, but I took a picture of your butthole last night while you were dozing.
Girl: You what?!
Obese lady in front row: Would you queers shut the fuck up?! I’m trying to watch this shit!
–AMC Theater, 42nd St
Overheard by: Scott
Pop Quiz: How Many Faces Do the Girls Have? Show Your Work.
Skinny girl in dress: Okay, what do you guys think?
Friend #1: Oh my god, it looks so good on you.
Friend #2: I love it!
Skinny girl: Really? I don’t know…
Friend #1: Seriously — you should get it. It looks awesome on you.
Friend #2: If I were you, I’d totally get it.
Skinny girl: Okay… Thanks! I think I will. [Retreats into fitting room.]Friend #1: God, she is so disgustingly skinny, it sickens me.
Friend #2: I could throw up right now.
–H&M fitting room, Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: lc
