Archive for the ‘Birthdays’ Category

The An­gel Of Death Had Dif­fi­cul­ty Sus­tain­ing Friend­ships

Suit #1: So I said to them “hap­py an­niver­sary, here’s your ceme­tery plot.“
Suit #2 (as­ton­ished): What? You re­al­ly bought them ceme­tery plots for their an­niver­sary?
Suit #1: Yeah. I knew he was gonna drop soon, so I bought them.
Suit #2: Well, I guess it’s the gift that keeps on giv­ing.

–Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: LF

In­ter­est­ing­ly, This Is Ex­act­ly How Chris­tian­i­ty Works

JAP: Oh my god, I to­tal­ly have to go to my cous­in’s birth­day in a week. Like she is such a bitch!
Fol­low­er: I hate her be­cause you hate her.
JAP: What? I don’t hate her, she is just a lit­tle bitch.
Fol­low­er: Like, what’s the dif­fer­ence?
JAP, walk­ing away: The dif­fer­ence is you are no longer my friend and luck­i­ly you are sooo re­place­able.
Fol­low­er, run­ning be­hind: I’m sooo sor­ry! Please don’t do this!

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers: “To­ga! To­ga! To­ga!”

60-some­thing white woman: They put on a good show. Those Je­suits re­al­ly know how to par­ty!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Jeff

Gay man to oth­ers, about par­ties: Yeah, I thought about go­ing to the black par­ty, but I’m not that gay!

–7th Ave & 6th St

Over­heard by: Not­tRob

Young woman: I’m twen­ty-sev­en. I’ve nev­er been to a par­ty, a sexy par­ty, where I don’t re­mem­ber who I’ve slept with.

–21st St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Jonas

Chick on cell: I can’t. It’s my cous­in’s chi­huahua’s birth­day par­ty.

–28th St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: sounds like a rager

We Could Bring Whole New Mean­ing to “Piss Drunk”

Frat boy: You know what I should get you for your birth­day?
Girl­friend: What?
Frat boy: A fun­nel.
Girl­friend: A fun­nel?
Frat boy: Yeah, a fun­nel. So you can piss in a cor­ner.
Girl­friend: I could al­so use it to fun­nel beer!
Frat boy: You’d have to wash it first.

–Star­bucks, As­tor Place