Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category

Girl #1 for Sen­a­tor!

Girl #1: So he kept ask­ing me to have sex last night.
Girl #2: Did you?
Girl #1: No, I told him, “Look, I will not have sex with you. If you want a blowjob I will do that, but I will not have sex with you.”…I mean what is a blowjob? Noth­ing at all.

–Bleeck­er & Mac­dou­gal

…Hint, Hint.

His­pan­ic man #1, on bus: Yo, my hand smells like pussy.
His­pan­ic man #2: Yeah, now she gonna go home and kiss the oth­er guy, and then he gonna, and you were just there.
(hys­ter­i­cal drunk­en laugh­ter)
His­pan­ic man #3: I haven’t got­ten pussy in a while, though. Since last sum­mer.
His­pan­ic man #1: Yeah, you know I just love get­ting my dick sucked.

–Q58 Bus

A Few Sucky Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Brunette woman yelling on cell: Look, I’m 24 fuck­ing years old. If I want to suck dick all day, that’s my busi­ness!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Blank Slater

Girl on cell: First you go, “ac­c­ck­kk… ac­c­ck­kkk” (makes chok­ing sounds) Then you have a mouth ful­la cum!

–Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: I.R.

50-some­thing woman, scream­ing in­to cell: Lis­ten, ass­hole, I’m not some cheap slut you can call when­ev­er you need some­one to suck you off, I have a job!

–Penn Sta­tion Taxi Line

Black man in phone booth: You bet­ter suck that juicy white cock, and get me that per­fume, bitch!

–7th Ave & 35th St

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers May Leave a Bad Taste in Your Mouth

Bland mid­dle-aged woman: It’s not like you’re giv­ing head in the Port Au­thor­i­ty bath­room!

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: j

Eng­lish tourist: You’ll go home and peo­ple will ask: “So what did you do on hol­i­day?” You’ll re­ply: “Oh, I gave the Em­pire State Build­ing a blowjob!”

–34th St

Guy on cell: Ugh, fuck me in the ass. No… no, not you. Meanie. Why don’t you just suck my dick. Suck my dick!

–34th Street

Dude on cell: It was like get­ting a blowjob from the in­side.

–8th Ave & 53rd St

Guy on cell: Is that the guy that’s been suck­ing your dick?

–81st & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Kel­ley

Young guy on cell: And then I said: “I could re­al­ly use a blowjob right now.” She was of­fend­ed!

–48th & Park

Young black man to friend: Just be­cause she sucks my dick does­n’t make her Oprah Win­frey.

–B48 Bus