Guy #1: Oh, that really sucks. So she wouldn’t even blow you? After all that?
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: Did she at least finish putting up those shelves in your closet?
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Kiere Walker
Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category
I’m Too Old for All This Imaginary Gonorrhea
British girl: What were you just talking about?
Queer: Oh, we’re talking about hypothetical blowjobs.
British girl: Whatever. I don’t have time for hypotheticals anymore.
–BBQ, DeKalb & Clermont
Tell Me Your Name and We'll Go from There
Meathead #1: I am so getting my dick sucked by the end of the day.
Meathead #2: I'll make sure of it, dude.
Meathead #1: (silence)
–Grand Central
Overheard by: DrNels
The People Who Film and Distribute It?
Teenage girl: But she sucks a lot of dick for money!
Teenage boy: At least she’s getting paid! You suck a lot of dick for free! Who’s the winner in that situation?
–153rd St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Granted, Sometimes It's Like Drinking from the Fire Hose
NYU guy #1: You know it's impossible to swallow a whole teaspoon of cinnamon?
NYU guy #2: Wait, why not?
NYU guy #1: Because it accumulates into clumps and dries up your mouth.
NYU guy #2: Oh, cinnamon! I thought you said “semen.” I was going to be like “Yes you can!”
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Yeah, I Was a Bride Of Christ, But He Wouldn’t Do Anal
Woman #1: Ever since she left the church, there’s a big hole in her life.
Woman #2: Which she fills with cock.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Luc
Blow It Out Your Wednesday One-Liner
Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny! –24th St b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Joseph Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do. –12th St & University Place Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change? –87th & Broadway Overheard by: Nynanny Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish. –McLean Ave, Yonkers Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted. –Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn Overheard by: craig hunter
You Said the Back Of Your Throat Itched!
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
–Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Romany
Bottom Line: I Got the Job
Fag hag: So, how was it?
Urban queer: Girl, it was a week ago and I'm still washing the taste of his dick outta my mouth!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Matthew
Wednesday One-Liners Breathe through Their Noses
Black girl on bluetooth headset: You want everyone to suck yo dick, dontcha? Dontcha?! You want everyone to suck yo dick! –W. 59th & 9th Ave Overheard by: Alexandra Twelve-year-old guido, near tears, doubled over in the street screaming on his cell phone: You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! –Brooklyn 20 something blonde on cell: … Is that normal? [Pause.] No, it’s different every time, like it almost disappears… Then another time its all swinging and shit… Is that normal? [Listens.]Oh no! Thats just fine, like it gags me when … [Mumbles.] –LIRR Manager to employee: You are a cock guzzling thundercunt! –Chelsea Gay guy, to his friend: I mean…I may suck dick but at least I don’t take it up the ass. –16th & 9th Woman: Short of blowing him in MoMa, I really don’t know how to get his attention. –A Train Overheard by: Why MoMa?