Big black man: It’s ok, I’m not a gangsta!
Nerdy white kid: Neither am I!
–Times Square
Archive for the ‘Black People’ Category
That, Sir, May Have Been His Point
Obnoxious NYU girl to friends: Ew! He passed and was like “damn, look at that ass on that white girl!”
Ghetto man, passing by: Psh–what ass?
–Union Square
Wednesdiverse Multi-Liners
Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly)
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Bearsian
Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization.
–Lower East Side Art Gallery
Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can't be racist. That's, like, just white people.
–Red Hook, Brooklyn
White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me.
–Houston & Clinton
Woman: She likes black dogs because she's black, and I like white dogs because I'm white.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Yehuda
J. Lo. and Puffy's Unfinished Life Together
Black guy with bags, bumping into Hispanic woman: Don't gimme that look, not my fault, not my fuckin' fault! (Hispanic woman just glares) Look at me again and I'll fuck you in the ass!
–53rd St & 5th Ave
Nobody Calls ’em “Playerettes”
Black man #1: Man, that reminds me of my bachelor party! The other day this slut friend of mine was getting married — excuse my language.
Black man #2: That’s aight, man. Sometimes you gotta call a slut a slut.
Black man #1: So, she was getting married, right? And the guy is waiting for her in a hotel room with champagne and shit. And the bitch is at my house!
Black man #2: Yo, that’s a slut aight.
–28th & 8th
Nothing Quite as Cultured as Interjecting with a Slur
White guy: Alien vs. Predator was such a bad movie.
Black guy: Tell me something. Where do Alien and Predator come from?
White guy: What do you mean? They come from somebody’s imagination, of course.
Black guy: No, I mean what movies they came from.
White guy: You are aware that there was a movie called Alien and there was another called Predator.
Black guy: Nope, never even heard of them.
Old man: Learn the culture, nigger!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Ting
What, Are You Kidding?
Black guy #1: I got Allison a gift for Valentine's Day.
Black guy #2: I also got Allison a gift.
Black guy #1: Wait, black Allison?
–6 Train
They Did It to Confuse You
In a dark movie theater–
Black guy standing up in his seat: Yo! I’m right over here, hurry up and get your ass through the aisle.
Hispanic guy: It’s not my problem I can’t see you in the dark, cuz you so black! The only the thing I can see is your white t-shirt, but everybody has white on
–Lincoln Center AMC Theater
Overheard by: JKim
In Fact, I Strongly Suspect We’re an Invention of the Liberal Media
Black boy #1: Yo, how come there’s only white people in these paintings?
Black boy #2: Mmm… Guess they were painted in 1750-something. They didn’t have no brothers back then.
–The Met
Where’d You Get That Prominent Ribcage?
Black guy #1 to passing white girl: Where’d you get that nice big ass? Your mother give you that ass?
Black guy #2: Naw, man. White girl don’t wanna hear she got a big ass. Only black girls wanna hear that shit.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: DZW