Archive for the ‘Black People’ Category

A Few Sucky Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Brunette woman yelling on cell: Look, I’m 24 fuck­ing years old. If I want to suck dick all day, that’s my busi­ness!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Blank Slater

Girl on cell: First you go, “ac­c­ck­kk… ac­c­ck­kkk” (makes chok­ing sounds) Then you have a mouth ful­la cum!

–Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: I.R.

50-some­thing woman, scream­ing in­to cell: Lis­ten, ass­hole, I’m not some cheap slut you can call when­ev­er you need some­one to suck you off, I have a job!

–Penn Sta­tion Taxi Line

Black man in phone booth: You bet­ter suck that juicy white cock, and get me that per­fume, bitch!

–7th Ave & 35th St

But I’m a Suck­er for Any­thing In­volv­ing Kit­tens

Large black guy #1: Yo, check out that chick­’s ear­rings.
Large black guy #2: Damn, they even match her out­fit.
Large black guy #1: That’s, like, a whole new lev­el of match­ing.
Large black guy #2, to girl: Yo, did you make those?
Girl: No, my sis­ter did.
Large black guy #2: I reeeal­ly like those.

–1 train

Over­heard by: i like them too

Ra­pun­zel, Ra­pun­zel, Let Down Your Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Girl to friend: I can’t be­lieve you broke a nail on your own ass hair!

–Church & Cham­bers

Three-year-old boy to an­oth­er: I like you but I don’t like your ba­by be­cause your ba­by grabbed my hair.

–Cen­tral Park, Great Lawn

Girl: Oh, I’m so glad this is all work­ing out. (gets up and sees her re­flec­tion) Fuck! Why did­n’t you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?

–Prince St Cafe

Over­heard by: It DID

Black woman to in­fant held by her moth­er: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain’t my hair, I could re­al­ly use yours.

–Harlem Polling Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Joe

Girl yelling in­to cell: He’s not even hairy!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Well then why do they call him that?

Chick: I thought we were made for each oth­er, but he’s too beard­ed.

–113th St

Over­heard by: Ur­su­la & Winifred