Archive for the ‘Blue-collar workers’ Category

Wednes­day-One-Lin­ers Prep for Their Roles in Mean Girls II

Woman on cell: I feel bad about rip­ping the kid off, but…

–Fort Greene Park

Over­heard by: Zoe

Suit: Well, ap­par­ent­ly I’m part psy­chic and part ass­hole.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: quite the com­bo

Blue col­lar guy: I stopped giv­ing to pan­han­dlers 10 years ago. This guy hit me up every day at my stop and one day I gave him a sand­wich and some cig­a­rettes. I watched him and he threw the sand­wich away. I went over to him and worked him over pret­ty bad. I dumped the trash can and took out the sand­wich and then took the cig­a­rettes away from him. Then I knocked him down again and took all the mon­ey out of his pock­ets. I was re­al­ly mad when he threw that sand­wich away. Now I nev­er give any­thing to those guys.
Suit: Yep…

–1 train, Hous­ton St

Over­heard by: Amused Min­nesotan

Woman on cell: You see, this is why you just can’t be nice to peo­ple. I was nice to her once, once! And now she thinks we’re friends. Like I need this!

–Bus stop near Ra­dio City Mu­sic Hall

Yup­pie on cell: I don’t give a fuck about them. As long as I’m on their will, I don’t re­al­ly give a shit.

–34th St & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: Gu­ni­ta

Girl: So my grand­ma died last week and it sucked so bad, I had to dri­ve all the way to Hart­ford on Sat­ur­day and I to­tal­ly missed the huge sale at H&M.

–Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty

Over­heard by: Suz­iQ

The Best Things in Life Are Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Woman on cell: Why aren’t you look­ing for some boy to do it for free?

–E 3rd & 1st Ave

Over­weight MTA work­er with mega­phone: Free shut­tle bus­es to Uti­ca Ave. Fol­low the crowd. Free shut­tle bus­es to Uti­ca Ave. Fol­low the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no ser­vice!

–Franklin Ave Sub­way

Over­heard by: Je­sus Jon

Home­less guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers!

–8th & 6th

Over­heard by: Za­ck

Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stum­bling out on­to the side­walk: Ha! It’s free! Every­one, free food! Ha!

–Open House Art Ex­hi­bi­tion, 106th St & Broad­way

Guy giv­ing out free pens: Come on, don’t be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, on­ly thing you’re gonna get for free are these pens and your moth­er’s love.

–Kim­mel, NYU

Wan­na-be thug eat­ing ice cream: Wan­na know how much I paid for this? S’free! I stole it.

–125th St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: EthanK

Hobo stopped for steal­ing a box of bot­tled wa­ter: But Oba­ma’s Pres­i­dent! Every­thing should be moth­er­fuck­ing free for the next 279 years!

–Du­ane Reade

Take This Pack­age Nowhere in Par­tic­u­lar. Im­me­di­ate­ly!

Bike mes­sen­ger: Well, the prob­lem with be­ing a bike mes­sen­ger is that you have to make stops, ’cause if you don’t make stops you don’t make any mon­ey.
New­bie: Yeah.
Bike mes­sen­ger: But if I find a gig where I don’t have to stop and I still made mon­ey, man, I’ll have it made.

–5th St & Ave A

Ob­ses­sive­ly Gay (for Tad)

Fe­male MTA em­ploy­ee: I ain’t seen you in for­ev­er! Did you start work­ing nights again?
Male MTA em­ploy­ee: Yeah… It was al­right. But then I got bored, so I start­ed watch­ing soap op­eras again. I can’t be­lieve Tad still looks the same.
Fe­male MTA em­ploy­ee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA em­ploy­ee: Hell yeah, I’m OG.

–4th Ave & 9th St sta­tion

Over­heard by: Ta­co­log­ic

Dude, We’re Not Rel­a­tives

Large main­te­nance man #1: Yo, you re­mem­ber your lit­tle girl you left a while back?
Large main­te­nance man #2: Fuck, man, why you got­ta bring that up?
Large main­te­nance man #1: I think I fucked her last night.
Large main­te­nance man #2: How the hell would you know that?
Large main­te­nance man #1: ‘Cause she made that face you make when you lift shit.

–15th St & Union Sq West

Over­heard by: mar­go

What’s That? You Have a Bomb?

Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, peo­ple are to­tal­ly go­ing to know we’re from Boston when they hear our ac­cents!
Guy sweep­ing cig­a­rette butts: No, peo­ple are go­ing to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our elec­tron­ic ads.

–49th & 9th

Over­heard by: guy who dropped a cou­ple of the cig­a­rette butts