Archive for the ‘Bodegas’ Category

Or You Could Swal­low a Twinkie

Guy #1: I don’t know man, I thought when I had kids I would no longer want an­oth­er woman. I thought it would end you?
Guy #2: Yeah yeah, it nev­er ends.
Guy #1: If kids does­n’t do it, how do you make it stop?
Guy #2: Cup­cakes.

–Bode­ga, 3rd Av­enue & 10th Street

The Next Episode of Every­body Hates Chris

Kid: Ma­ma! Can I get these chips?
Woman: Uh-uh! That shit is a dol­lar! That means no change! Put it back! [Turns to friend] I can’t be­lieve these damn kids with my fuckin’ mon­ey! I work eight days a week! And I ain’t suckin’ no dick!
Friend: Mmm-hm.

–145th St & Edge­combe Ave

Over­heard by: Sam

Where Is She Work­ing???

Hoochie: I’ve been work­ing for her for sev­en years. And I’ve been want­i­ng to smack her up for sev­en years. And tonight, she gave me the op­por­tu­ni­ty.
Cashier: What if she called the po­lice?
Hoochie: She could­n’t call no cops. It was self-de­fense. She’d go to jail.

–Bode­ga, Ben­son­hurst