Archive for the ‘Body Parts’ Category

Let’s Face Wednesday One-liners

Guy: My eyelashes have decided to declare war against my eyes.

–12th Street & 6th Avenue

Overheard by: E. F. Schubert

Woman: All I wanted was some sunflower seeds and I wound up with my face on a milk carton.

–41st & 5th

Overheard by: rebecca h.

Teen girl on cell: So I finally talked to him and I was like, “Do you have any safety pins?” and he was all, “No!” and then I was like,
“What about all the ones in your face?”

–Red Hook

Overheard by: linda

Some Half-Baked Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on cell: I have to get home so I can put away the b-o-n-g.

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kyle

Man in light green suit with orange-red gators: Read the bible tonight. Don't smoke that Scooby Doobie Doo. Don't get high tonight!

–125th & Lenox

Overheard by: Plausible

Young hipster: So I said, "Mom, did you smoke with me?"

–Central Park Reservoir

Angry girlfriend to boyfriend: Okay, so you don't want me smoking pot, you don't want me smoking cigarettes or cloves, you don't want me chewing gum and now you don't like lollipops? So tell me, Peter, what can I put in my mouth that's okay with you?

–L Train

Overheard by: It's me, bitches.

Teacher: Steve*, I need to talk to your pot dealer, because the stuff you're smoking is really good.

–Cooper Union

Overheard by: me too

Guy talking on blue tooth: I should be there in about 45 minutes. (pause) Yeah, I'm serious! (pause) Look. I got an idea for ya. Why don't you go roll a big fat blunt, smoke it until you can't see anymore and then I'll be there. Alright? Bye.

–8th Ave & 27th St

Overheard by: Erica Friedman

Girl: I mean honestly, who at NYU doesn't smell like weed?

–Washington Square Park

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

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