Archive for the ‘Boob Job’ Category

Like Squeez­ing a Stress Doll

Bounc­er: Nice. Are those re­al?
Hot­tie: What do you think?
Bounc­er: Can I check?
Hot­tie: You can poke at ’em, just don’t feel them up.

He does so.

Bounc­er: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hot­tie: Well, they’re big­ger than they used to be.

–Club Spir­it, Chelsea

Over­heard by: John­ny En­ve­lope

A Nice Set of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Mod­est hoochie: Yeah, I can al­ways tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Sta­tion

Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puer­to Ri­cans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Ma­mi, lookin’ hot,” but Do­mini­cans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Ma­mi, you got nice tits!”

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: er­lin­flask

Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m go­ing to have sag­gy boobs.

–Ave A be­tween 5th & 6th

Over­heard by: Nathan

Guy: I con­tend that if you’re go­ing to al­low some­one to breast-feed in a pub­lic place, then I should be al­lowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clin­ton St

Over­heard by: Evan

Tooth­less Brook­lynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole tit­ties. I’m talk­ing dou­ble E‑E’s. And she went to the doc­tor and had them cut off. Her tit­ties was cut off!

–A train

Over­heard by: The Law Pro­fes­sor

Teen girl to moth­er: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give my­self a boob job with a rusty but­ter knife and wa­ter bal­loons!

–N train

Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve nev­er had your bo­som in some­body’s el­bow be­fore.

–Stage door, Eu­gene O’Neill The­atre, West 49th St

Mel­ons­day Jug-Lin­ers

Mid­dle-aged the­atri­cal man, watch­ing sum­mer crowds: Ah! Man­hat­tan in the sum­mer… The hyp­not­ic sway of the un­fet­tered breast…

–Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven’t even had a kid, I’m get­ting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!

–14th St & 10th ave

Over­heard by: adam

Girl to boyfriend, af­ter putting cell phone in her jack­et: Yeah… That’s not a pock­et, that’s my tit.

–L Train

Over­heard by: TR

Guy on cell phone: What’s up, bis­cuit-tits?

–21st St & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: Steve

16-year-old girl to bux­om pal: Your breasts are a per­son­al at­tack on me!

–F Train

Over­heard by: wish i was be­ing at­tacked

The iTouch App We’ve All Been Wait­ing for

Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They’re so cute!
Blonde #1: They don’t look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awe­some!
Blonde #1: Wan­na feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend’s boobs)

–Ap­ple Store, 14th St

Over­heard by: Susie