Archive for the ‘Bowery Ballroom’ Category

Cue Franz Fer­di­nand

In­die Girl #1: …I saw the Uni­corns like in the base­ment for $3!
In­die Girl #2: You saw the Uni­corns?! Oh my god, you are like to­tal­ly my new best friend!
In­die Girl #1: Like I’m so in love with them!
In­die Girl #2: Do you want a cig­a­rette?

–Bow­ery Ball­room bath­room

Over­heard by: roxy

Wait, Is­n’t Lou Reed Still Alive?

Stoned hip­ster #1: Dude, Van Gogh is the Sex Pis­tols.
Stoned hip­ster #2: Huh?
Stoned hip­ster #1: Be­cause, think about it: Van Gogh nev­er sold a paint­ing while he was alive, and the Sex Pis­tols nev­er won any awards or noth­ing. Yet they’re both ap­pre­ci­at­ed in our time.
Stoned hip­ster #2: It’s more like Van Gogh is The Vel­vet Un­der­ground.
Stoned hip­ster #1: Oh my god, Van Gogh is so The Vel­vet Un­der­ground!

–Bow­ery Ball­room

Over­heard by: Abram

Scenes from the Scene

Dude: Shit in the pussy!
Wolf Pa­rade singer: …Did some­one just say “shit in the pussy”?

–Bow­ery Ball­room, De­lancey Street

Over­heard by: clau­dia gal­lego

Suit: Hey ass­hole stand­ing up, sit the fuck down!
Hip­ster guy: Hey ass­hole sit­ting down, stand the fuck up!
Suit: I did­nt pay $800 to look at the back of your head!
Hip­ster guy: Come down here and try some­thing and i’ll sue your ass! Nice suit, fag!

–Cream Con­cert, Madi­son Square Gar­den

Over­heard by: ze­tas­mack

Girl: Hey, you guys were great. If you’re not do­ing any­thing af­ter, call my num­ber, I wrote it next to the mon­u­ment [on this dol­lar].
Juras­sic 5 singer: Wow..uh, great. Take care, now.
Girl: Yeah, see you lat­er.
Juras­sic 5 singer: …Dude, she just gave me her phone num­ber. You take it.
Guy: Yeah? Wow, thanks!
Juras­sic 5 singer: Yeah, but bud­dy, you make sure you tap that shit, now, y’­hear? A’right.

–70th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Sharon B

Pat O’Brien: Um, ex­cuse me…
Bounc­er: Oh shit, that’s Pat O’Brien, that’s my peo­ples.
Guy: …Aw, come on, we’ve been wait­ing out here for an hour and Pat O’Brien gets in?
Bounc­er: Yo, don’t step, Pat O’Brien is good peo­ples.

–Canal Room, West Broad­way

Drag queen: Madon­na should die! She sucks! She’s a rapist, not an artist!…Madonna should die! I’ll kill her!
Guy: Get a vagi­na, bitch!

–The Roxy, West 18th Street

Over­heard by: G‑Lock

Those Guys Are So Ig­no­rant

Se­cu­ri­ty guard to group of teenagers: Where are you from? Are you from the West Coast? I want to know what’s go­ing on over there.
Teenag­er: We’re from Wash­ing­ton, DC.
Se­cu­ri­ty guard: Oh, that’s on the West Coast.
Teenag­er: No, Wash­ing­ton, DC is on the East Coast.
Se­cu­ri­ty guard: Ohhh. You’ve got all those politi­cians, huh? That sucks.

–Bowrey Ball­room

Over­heard by: Fi­fi

It’s On­ly Co­caine for the Rest of the Night, I Promise

Girl in stall #1: I am sooo wast­ed.
Girl in stall #2: I am so dis­ap­point­ed.
Girl in stall #1: In the show? I know, but they are so tired from be­ing on tour, and it’s the third night–
Girl in stall #2: –No, not that.
Girl in stall #1: Oh. Then why?
Girl in stall #2: Um…
Girl in stall #1: Be­cause I’m drunk?
Girl in stall #2: Yeah.
Girl in stall #1: Oh.

–Bow­ery Ball­room

Over­heard by: Foxy

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Thought Fe­lic­i­ty Huff­man De­served that Os­car

Skater kid: What’s the point of be­ing gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, be­tween 7th & 8th Ave

La­dy on phone: Yeah, she was work­ing at a fac­to­ry, but she was pass­ing as a man… Well, she did­n’t last a week at the fac­to­ry.

–Bus in Lin­coln Tun­nel

TA: We live in a two-gen­der sys­tem of so­ci­ety. There’s no green ‘It’s a her­maph­ro­dite!’ bal­loon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For re­al. I’m sick of be­ing like, ‘That guy is skin­nier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has bet­ter make­up.’

–26th St

Over­heard by: agrees with that girl

Col­lege stu­dent on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broad­way

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were lit­tle, but now it’s time to dif­fer­en­ti­ate.

–Tar­get, At­lantic Ave, Brook­lyn

They Should Have Let Him Run With It

Guy: Do you think I should have a K at the be­gin­ning of my name?
Girl #1: What?
Guy: Well, you know how trendy peo­ple have a silent let­ter in their names some­times. I think I want to do that. Just put a K at the be­gin­ning.
Girl #2: …Then your name would be KShawn.
Girl #1: No one would leave the K silent you id­iot. They’d call you “Kuh-Shawn.”
Guy: Why are you laughing?…Oh, is it too eth­nic?

–Bow­ery Ball­room