Archive for the ‘Boys’ Category

The King of Terrors? I Beg to Differ

Mother, to twelve-year-old daughter: Megan! Get back here!
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, Megan is trying to cross the street cuz she hates you.
Mother, bitterly: No, Megan is trying to cross the street because she wants to get hit by a car.
Four-year-old: If you get hit by a car you’d be dead, then you have to go to the hospital.
Mother, despondent: I don’t think you even understand death.

–Broadway

Don’t They Know They Can’t Jump?

Teen kid #1: Yo white people have too much free time to do stupid shit.
Teen kid #2: Yeah, I know: like jump off 30-story buildings, like those two kids.
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I once saw this white guy who tried to jump over a car and got split in two, like the car was coming at him, and he tried to jump, but it hit him and split him in two pieces right down the middle.
Teen kid #2: For real, you saw that happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah.
Teen kid #2: Like in person, you saw it happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I saw it happen in person on TV last night.

–5 Train

Overheard by: b

His Friends Don’t Have the Heart to Tell Him It’s a Mr. Peanut Costume

Boy #1: What are you gonna be?
Boy #2: Soul of the devil.
Boy #1: What were you last year?
Boy #2, annoyed: Soul of the devil.
Boy #1: And the year before that?
Boy #2: Soul of the devil! I always go as soul of the devil.
Boy #1: What’s soul of the devil?
Boy #2: This character I made up. He’s like a lawyer for the devil. I have a cane.

–Park Slope, Brooklyn