Archive for the ‘Boys’ Category

You Should See My Notes for Sexual Anthropology

Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.

–Forbidden Planet

All Couples Eventually Become Lesbian Couples, Anyway

Girl #1: Man, I am so excited to just move.
Boy: When you move in with me, can we get a Chia pet?
Girl #2: Oh, girl, watch out. You get a Chia pet and it's a slippery slope. Next thing you know, you and Cliff will be wearing cat sweatshirts and writing fan fiction.
Boy: That's gonna happen in secret.
Girl #1: Whatever, bitch, we're gonna grow herbs.

–The Met

Lucy and Linus Enter the 21st Century

Eight-year-old girl to little brother on bike: Hey, asshole!
Little brother: What? Are you talking to me?
Eight-year-old girl: Yeah, you're annoying me. You're pissin' me off!

–Central Park

Headline by: KateNonymous

Runners-Up:
· “And on That Day, Young Travis Bickle’s Life Took a Turn” – jlp
· “From the Rarely Seen First Episode Of the Donnie and Marie Show.” – Chris L
· “New Yorkers-in-Training” – Oren K
· “Sesame Street Has REALLY Changed” – Bob
· “When Cindy Mistook Her Dad’s Protein Shake for a Milkshake…” – fox

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

At the Micromanaging Quarterfinals

Tourist dad: So, if you had two hundred dollars and you could spend it in the city any way you wanted to, what would you–
Small boy: –I’d buy roasted peanuts.
Tourist dad: What? No. Not peanuts.
Small boy: Why not? If it’s my money, I’m gonna spend it on peanuts!
Tourist dad, annoyed: Fine, you can get the damn peanuts. What would you do with the rest of the money?
Small boy, thinking: Well, that would leave me with… about a hundred and ninety dollars?
Tourist dad: No way. You are not buying 10-dollar roasted peanuts.

–Broadway

Overheard by: amused pedestrian