Archive for the ‘Brooklyn’ Category

Box­es and Box­es of Co­coa Puffs

Old woman: Have you seen Char­lie?
Guy: No..he said he was gonna check him­self in­to the hos­pi­tal, and prob­a­bly stay for a long time.
Old woman: Be­cause I have some food for him…Now Patrick, have you seen Char­lie? I have some food for him.
Old man: Char­lie done checked his­self in­to the psy­cho ward for two months.
Old woman: I guess I got­ta throw the food out then.

–Williams­burg

Over­heard by: Heiny Kleist

And Now You Ex­pect Me to Walk??

Girl­friend, ex­it­ing cafe: I told you you should have googled this place be­fore we drove all the way here!
Boyfriend: I’m sor­ry. Let’s just go in­to the city! Bars are open un­til five there!
Girl­friend: You could­n’t en­ter­tain me in Brook­lyn for half an hour. What are you go­ing to do with me in the city un­til five?
Boyfriend: Walk up and down the city streets!

–Bed­ford Ave & 6th St

With This ‘Ring’, I Thee Wed…

Guy: So how come we can’t try butt lov­ing?
Girl: I’m sav­ing it for my hus­band.
Guy: Are you se­ri­ous? That’s like so…Victorian of you.

–So­da Bar, Van­der­bilt Ave, Brook­lyn
Head­line by: ax­a­m­endes

Run­ners-Up:
· “Ac­tu­al­ly, It’s More Victor/Victorian.” — Faith
· “And Call­ing It ‘Butt Lov­ing’ Is­n’t?” — Ante K
· “Gives New Mean­ing to ‘Do You Have Price Al­bert in the Can?’ ” — Ly­dia
· “I Want a ‘Brown Wed­ding’ ” — clarence rosario
· “I’ll Even Show You My An­kles as I Give You a Rim Job” — sara swank
· “Jane Austen’s First Draft: ‘Read­er, I Butt Loved Him.’ ” — Sarah
· “Monogamy Is Such a Pain in the Ass” — Kar­likit­ten
· “Next, on the His­to­ry Chan­nel: Felch­ing Dur­ing the Reign of King Richard” — Matt
· “Vic­to­ri­ans Were So Anal!” — eighty4sapphire
· “Vir­gin­i­ty, Fudged” — Sara
· “Yeah, I Know, But It’s the On­ly Thing Left in My Dowry” — ile­manz­er

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