Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Bryant Park’ Category

We Can Spot Fake Wednes­day One-Lin­ers a Mile Away

Ex­as­per­at­ed woman on phone: It’s a phone in­ter­view! What does it mat­ter what type of boobs I have?

–Of­fice Build­ing, 32nd & 7th

Over­heard by: erkala

Girl, af­ter guy ac­ci­den­tal­ly hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeez­ing them, not hit­ting them!

–Toys R’ Us, Times Square

Over­heard by: Lotte

Up­per West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It com­plete­ly ru­ins that skirt for me.

–Canal Street

Hobo: But I don’t want to love my breasts!

–Ave B

Man on cell: So you’re com­ing to New York? That’s good. I called your moth­er, she said you’re stay­ing with some girl with big tits tonight.

–West 4th Street

Guy to an­oth­er, while at lunch: I don’t care if you think I live too fast and I’ll be dead at 45. At least I’ll die with a tit­tie in my mouth!

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: sal b

That Makes 14th Street the Ma­son-Dixon

Girl: I’m go­ing to have a bor­ing week­end. I’m not re­al­ly do­ing any­thing ex­cept one of my friends is guest bar­tend­ing at this bar Co­da on 34th street so I’m go­ing to that.
Guy #1: I think I’ve been there.
Guy #2: Is that on the North or South side?
Girl: Oh I haven’t lived in New York to learn the New York lin­go.
Guy #2: Well, there’s a North side and a South side of the street.

–43rd & 5th

Ful­ly Au­to­mat­ic Wa­ter-Cooled As­sault Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Four-year-old boy: I have gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun!

–Gate, Newark Air­port

Over­heard by: minkey

Man on phone: Yo! The last time I saw that nig­ga I shot at that nig­ga!

–43rd & 7th

Over­heard by: Alex

Guy with fa­cial pierc­ings: My mom’s such a bitch. She’s like, ‘I don’t want any guns or drugs in the house!’ and I was like, ‘Fuck you, Mom!’

–Penn Sta­tion

Woman on cell: Kings Coun­ty is the best hos­pi­tal to go to if you get shot in New York.

–14th & Union Square

Over­heard by: Mole

Thug kid to thug friends: I don’t do shoot­ings. And be­sides, this is my stop.

–7 train, Queens

Over­heard by: Mrs. LeClair