Archive for the ‘Bryant Park’ Category

Like Spiders Do

Law school girl wannabe #1: Maybe I can sell my eggs for like $50,000.
Law school girl wannabe #2: But what happens if your kid is out there dating their brother or sister?
Law school girl wannabe #1: That’s a good point… There’s a chance that would happen.
Law school girl wannabe #2: That’s why you need to follow up on your eggs and find them in the real world, and check in on them.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Jack Handy

Wednesday One-Liners and the People Who Love Them

Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It’s for you and your pet!

–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents

Overheard by: jycho

Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e‑mail with a link to petfinder.com.

–Student Center, Barnard

Overheard by: Kristine

Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!

–50th Ave & Broadway

Overheard by: Colleen

Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.

–E 10th St

Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?

–20th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jesse S G

We Blame Barbie for This Conversation.

All beauty, no brains brunette: No, John, he’s not all the way black, his mom is white and his dad is black. He’s just like 1/16th black, or whatever that comes out to.
John: Dude, really? I take it math wasn’t your strong point in school.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Sky

Wednesday One-Liners for Stephen Colbert

Suit on phone: The dream was strange…we are in a library …I say something like “it’s a liability.” Then you said “your mom’s a liability.” That was it…I don’t know.

–Gramercy Park

Overheard by: POLA

Young suit to another: The world is not your oyster!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Amy

Suit to another, as 30-something woman in skirt and high heels passes by: Yowza! And that ends our case study!

–Madison Ave & 40th St

Overheard by: Casey

Stressed female suit: No one gives a fuck anymore. Everyone’s just gonna do what they want. And any further complaints can be directed to my ass.

–University St b/w 8th & Waverly

Middle-aged Asian man in three-piece suit on cell: I mean, how can I live like Bond if I’m married?

–46th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: dr. no, i dont do

20-something female suit on cell: Baby, I would love to go to dinner, but you have two options: dinner or sex. I only have time for one.

–27th St & Park Ave