Archive for the ‘Buddha’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

Girl: Is it spring that makes the cher­ry blos­soms bloom, or the cher­ry blos­soms that make spring bloom?

–Hunter Col­lege cafe­te­ria

Over­heard by: Traczie

Tourist chick look­ing at sub­way map: Is the Irish pub on here?

–6 train, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Dee Phunk

Woman on cell, look­ing at di­rec­tions: Num­bers go up, right?

–23rd & 6th

Over­heard by: V

Tourist girl: Man­hat­tan is an is­land?! Is it a man-made is­land?

–N train

Over­heard by: Sir­ius

Chick to friend: What re­li­gion is Bud­dha the king of?

–Cen­tral Park

Blonde: Why haven’t they just fixed the econ­o­my al­ready?

–L train

Over­heard by: wid­der­shawns

Least of All My Room­mate’s Au­di­ble Mas­tur­ba­tion

Chick: So I e‑mailed my build­ing man­ag­er to com­plain about my jerk room­mate, and she wrote back that the so­lu­tion to all my prob­lems is to chant. And she sent me the chant! Lis­ten to this: “Nam yo ho ren ge cho.” And if I do this every day, I’ll be hap­pi­er, wis­er, and in rhythm.
Dude: There are two pos­si­bil­i­ties here. Ei­ther she’s enough of a flake to be­lieve this, or she thinks you’re enough of a flake to be­lieve it.
Chick: None of this is good!

–151st & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

Is­n’t It Time You Talked to Your Kids About Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

Creep­ster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gand­hi?

–Cham­bers &and West Broad­way

Girl on cell: So I opened the en­ve­lope on the train… Yeah it was hero­in.

–W 46th Ave

Bum: Ex­cuse me! Hey, hey! Ex­cuse me! Check it out! I am go­ing to smoke crack all fuck­ing night, and there is­n’t any­thing any­one can do about it, be­cause that’s what I’m go­ing to do, I’m go­ing to smoke so much crack!

–West 4th at Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: Cory

Guy to hun­gover girl: Every­day you look more and more like you do hero­in.

–Rel­ish Bar & Grill

Prep­py dude: I like do­ing drugs too much to be a Bud­dhist.

–Ar­lene’s Gro­cery

Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like say­ing hero­in is the on­ly drug to try!

–14th St & 9th Ave

Sil­ly Rab­bit, Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are for Kids

Ex­cit­ed lit­tle girl to friend: Hey! Wan­na see my room? It’s re­al­ly cool! I got a bed!

–Whole Foods, Tribeca

Three-year-old girl, ex­cit­ed­ly point­ing at pic­ture on store front: Look mom­my, it’s Bud­dha! It’s Bud­dha!

–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th

Over­heard by: EV­girl

Young girl to fa­ther: On­ly 1,486 days un­til I’m 18 and then I can do what­ev­er the heck I want.

–E 78th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Bran­don F

4‑year-old girl to fa­ther try­ing to board over­crowd­ed train: Je­sus, we should have tak­en the bus! I told you we should have tak­en the bus.

–Up­town 4 Train

Over­heard by: kdice

Five-year-old son to fa­ther who just dropped Black­Ber­ry: What the hell just hap­pened here?

–Great Lawn, Cen­tral Park

Four-year-old girl: I’m­ma hus­t­la! I’m­ma, I’m­ma hus­t­la!

–Up­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: Ni­na

I Had a Long Con­ver­sa­tion with One While I Was Shroom­ing the Oth­er Day

Girl #1: So, like Bud­dhist wor­ship cows. They feel like they are sa­cred and don’t eat them, or milk them, or noth­ing…
Girl #2: Aw, shit! For re­al?
Girl #1: Yeah, most of them are veg­e­tar­i­ans. They don’t eat any­thing that’s alive, or has a soul, or some­thing… Cause you can be rein­car­nat­ed in­to some­thing you can eat.
Girl #2: So what do veg­e­tar­i­ans eat?
Girl #1, star­ing blankly: What?
Girl #2: What do veg­e­tar­i­ans eat?
Girl #1: They’re veg­e­tar­i­ans! (gig­gles) Fuck! Veg­eta­bles! (rolls eyes, then laughs)
Girl #2, look­ing odd­ly: But trees are alive.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Brown­sug­ar­wa­ter