Catholic school girl #1: This is totally a third person situation right now, but I really think that some people are discriminatory against smokers. I mean, we really shouldn’t have go outside to smoke. What, are you going to ask a girl with Tourette’s to go spaz outside?
Catholic school girl #2: Did you actually just compare smoking to Tourette Syndrome?
–Convent of the Sacred Heart
Overheard by: Overachiever catholic school girl
Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they're called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.”
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they're called
American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.
–Office, Midtown
Guy, sniffing at a box of bolts: Wow, these smell like Twizzlers!
Box owner: Well, they are from Germany.
–Metric Building, Hawthorne
Overheard by: not surprised at all
Girl #1: I really like matzoh bread.
Girl #2: Yeah, my friend makes it really amazing because she fries it in butter and sugar. It’s so good.
Girl #1: Wait, is that allowed? I thought matzoh was supposed to be about suffering.
–Lafayette Street Residence
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet.
Trader: Is there a time-frame here?
Through the stall is heard the response.
Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time.
–Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza
Overheard by: Aaron H.
Boy: Mom? Mom? Can I get this?
Mom: No.
Boy: I see you as a stranger now.
–Burlington Coat Factory, Atlantic Center Mall
Overheard by: Sara Kleipe
Woman on cell: I’m telling you, men just don’t have to go through anything like this. They just don’t. I fell at Dunkin’ Donuts today. I fell. I hadn’t eaten a thing all day.
–UES elevator
Man on phone: Nicole, Nicole, you’re wrong. Why don’t you calm down and listen to Mr. Logic? Mr. Logic says…
–Office, Midtown
Overheard by: Trouble
Headline by: JohnnyB
Runners-Up:
· “… You Probably Had Herpes Before You Met Me.” – KJM
· “…maybe Dating a Writer for Sesame Street Wasn’t Such a Good Idea.” – df
· “It Won’t Do Any Good If She Can’t Actually SEE the Hand Puppet.” – Zenece
· “Now Tom, That Only Works on Katie…” – Lindsey
· “Worst Penis Name, Ever.” – Jim C.
· “You’re 8 Months Pregnant, Birth Control May Be Moot” – Rose
Chinese coworker: Hey, you’re wearing makeup today!
Jewish coworker: Yeah, I had a little extra time this morning.
Chinese coworker: But I thought Jewish people couldn’t wear makeup?
Jewish coworker: Huh!?
–Office Building, 26th & 11th