Archive for the ‘Buildings’ Category

Ten Bucks Says He Asks Her Out Before They Get to Their Floor

Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, — I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation!

–Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway

Thank God the Wednesday One-Liners’ Strike Is Over

Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie control our lives!

–LIRR

Overheard by: Poogins

Homeless crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twenties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is “Desperate Housewives” on?!

–10th Street & 3rd Ave

Large latino: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t believe you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, seriously bro… Well the main thing that happened was Heidi tried to apologize to LC and she was all like: “I wanna forget you!” I was like: “Whaaaaaat? For real?” It was crazy, you gotta catch it!

–Times Square Office Building

Overheard by: SUSAN

Redhead: The “Brady Bunch” world is a world without urges.

–Veniero’s, 11th St between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Muscular guy: He comes up to me talking all this shit, saying that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangsta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skinny motherfucka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.

–On the Bus

Fulsome girl with bad dye job: I’m like: “I watch ‘Law and Order: SVU’, I’m not getting in your van.”

–15th between 6th and 7th

Overheard by: Disunionsquare

Aries Spears, in line for an Ashlee Simpson autograph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a random girl’s camera and snaps a picture of them together and walks away.] 

–Virgin Mobile Mega Store, Times Square

Wednesday One-Liners– As Far As You Know

Man on cell, coming out of The Dark Knight: I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick up your call, I was in a very important meeting with a client.

–Lowes Movie Theater, 68th & Broadway

Guy on cell walking out of subway entrance: I’m getting on the subway now.

–Park Place & Church Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Female suit on cell: Well, I can’t talk long, I’m about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: pop pop

Overweight woman to daughter in pink tutu: You made me come here! Don’t lie! Don’t lie! Don’t lie!

–Ikea, Redhook

Overheard by: Emily B.

Annoying anchor: I’m writing a newscast. I don’t have time to check facts.

–CBS News Headquarters, 57th St

Overheard by: The Shadow News Bunny

Tell You What. You Can Do It Inside If You Seal Yourself in a Plastic Bag

Catholic school girl #1: This is totally a third person situation right now, but I really think that some people are discriminatory against smokers. I mean, we really shouldn’t have go outside to smoke. What, are you going to ask a girl with Tourette’s to go spaz outside?
Catholic school girl #2: Did you actually just compare smoking to Tourette Syndrome?

–Convent of the Sacred Heart

Overheard by: Overachiever catholic school girl