Spanish thug #1: I’m all about love, man, but I never say it, like, I loved my ex.
Spanish thug #2: What is love? And not the general meaning of it.
Spanish thug #1: It’s like feeling sick to your stomach. (pause) Right?
Spanish thug #2: Yeah, that’s good.
–Q27 Bus
Overheard by: trying to read in peace
Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: ihatevegs
Suit on phone: I don’t think she knows. (pause) But it’s just a night job! (pause) No, there’s no way I’m pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I’m a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I’m not pregnant. I’m just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
Little girl with brand new doll: Mommy, what should I name her? I think I’ll name her “Pussy”!
Mother: Uh!
Little girl: Pussy! Like “pussycat”!
Mother: Okay… maybe we should think of a different name!
Hipster sitting next to them: I’m going to have to send a few texts about this.
–Bus
Overheard by: bradlea
Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don’t they know this is a free fuckin’ country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I’m tellin you, now that Obama’s elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck’s up.
–Q63 Bus
Overheard by: filemeunder
Teen boy #1: She’s not a slave.
Teen boy #2: Slaves have a third grade reading level.
Teen boy #1: Fourth.
–B31 bus
Black girl: Some motherfucker put me on this site called overheardinnewyork.com. It’s so fucked up. Why would anyone put what I said on the streets to a site? This shit is not fucking funny.
Black guy: What was put up? I gotta check this out, this shit sounds funny.
Black girl: You were there, it was the time I told this Chinese nigger to apologize and he ended up telling me to go fuck myself, and it was posted by some motherfucker called Ting. Is that even a real fucking name?
Black guy: Yeah, I remember that, that shit was hilarious.
Black girl: Fuck you laughing at? Don’t make me rip your balls out.
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Ting (again!)
Bimbette #1: Oh my god! I just realized my brother and I have the same last name!
Bimbette #2: Really?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, it never hit me before.
–BX10 Bus
Overheard by: My mom and I too
Girl to friend: I don’t even know what Morocco’s like.
Friend: Well, they filmed Sex and the City 2 there – that’s what it’s like!
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: AMC
Hispanic man #1, on bus: Yo, my hand smells like pussy.
Hispanic man #2: Yeah, now she gonna go home and kiss the other guy, and then he gonna, and you were just there.
(hysterical drunken laughter)
Hispanic man #3: I haven’t gotten pussy in a while, though. Since last summer.
Hispanic man #1: Yeah, you know I just love getting my dick sucked.
–Q58 Bus
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist