Archive for the ‘Bus’ Category

…Hint, Hint.

His­pan­ic man #1, on bus: Yo, my hand smells like pussy.
His­pan­ic man #2: Yeah, now she gonna go home and kiss the oth­er guy, and then he gonna, and you were just there.
(hys­ter­i­cal drunk­en laugh­ter)
His­pan­ic man #3: I haven’t got­ten pussy in a while, though. Since last sum­mer.
His­pan­ic man #1: Yeah, you know I just love get­ting my dick sucked.

–Q58 Bus

Wednes­day Hold-on-There’s-Some­one-on-the-Oth­er-Lin­ers

60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aun­t’s house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.

–B4 Bus

Over­heard by: Vic­to­ria Taraso­va

Dude on cell: No, it’s okay, my cell­phone is at­tached to my hand. It’s part of my hand!

–Restau­rant Bath­room, 7th Ave

Over­heard by: Dun­can Pflaster

NYU guy on cell, snot­ti­ly: No wait, wait… Is it full be­cause you keep leav­ing them for me and I nev­er both­er to lis­ten? (pause) Voice­mail is a dead tech­nol­o­gy, dad.

–Bus

Over­heard by: liz

Woman on crutch­es: Peo­ple think I’m talk­ing on one of those Blue­tooth-head­phone-cell phones. Nah. I’m just talk­ing to my­self. Pfft! I ain’t got no cell phone! I just talk to my­self! That’s right!

–Food Stamp Of­fice, 14th St

Over­heard by: Er­i­ca Schrein­er

African Amer­i­can man on cell: I got­ta go. I got Richard Sim­mons on the oth­er line.

–30th St & Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: mike v

Could You Re­mind Me How to Breathe?

Hip In­di­an chick #1: We should to­tal­ly go to Ra­j’s par­ty to­mor­row night.
Hip In­di­an chick #2: Oh my god, we to­tal­ly should! Ex­cept it’s in Brook­lyn. Like, how would we even get there? Are there like, bridges or some­thing?
Hip In­di­an chick #1: You’re kid­ding, right?
Hip In­di­an chick #2, laugh­ing: Wow! I am so one of those peo­ple who are like to­tal ge­nius­es but al­ways for­get like, re­al­ly ba­sic stuff.
Hip In­di­an chick #1: Umm, yeah. To­tal­ly.

–M14D Bus

Over­heard by: Cody

I Did­n’t Know I Was Wednes­day One-Linered

Smok­ing man to an­oth­er: I’ve heard be­ing preg­nant is re­al­ly bad for your health.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: CS

Large black woman: An’ I been tellin’ him I got all these ideas for t‑shirts… Like one for a preg­nant la­dy that says “Con­grat­u­la­tions, you’re not the dad­dy!”

–BX12 Bus

Over­heard by: shayshay

NYU boy on cell: Wait, you’re preg­nant? You’re preg­nant!? I thought you were just fat. (pause) But he said he did­n’t come in you, just on your face.

–Union Square

Woman to date: Let’s go get preg­nant!

–San­tos Par­ty House, Lafayette St

Over­heard by: al­isa