Archive for the ‘Cabbies’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Refuse to Go to the Out­er Bor­oughs

For­eign taxi dri­ver: If you know any­thing, you find job in New York. If you know noth­ing, you dri­ve cab.

–Up­per West Side

Cab dri­ver to woman who just cut him off: Hey la­dy, learn how to dri­ve! Go back to Park Slope!

–28th & Park Ave

Over­heard by: natasha

Crazy drunk­en taxi dri­ver: Do chick­en wings cause preg­nan­cy?

–West Side High­way

Over­heard by: amalthya

Smelly cab­bie to pa­trons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish wa­ter. Some­one threw fish wa­ter all over my cab. That is the stink.

–48th St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: anon

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Say “Toro, Toro, Taxi!”

Lit­tle girl to fa­ther, about pedes­tri­an sign: But I don’t want to be a pedes­tri­an! I want to be fa­mous!

–17th & Irv­ing

(pedes­tri­ans are cross­ing when they aren’t sup­posed to. One al­most gets hit by a taxi)
Fe­male traf­fic cop to taxi dri­ver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: mo­mes

Home­less man di­rect­ing traf­fic in mid­dle of street: I killed 20,000 peo­ple, I ain’t afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 peo­ple, I ain’t afraid of no car!

–Jer­ry Or­bach St

Gang­ster walk­ing in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I’­ma get­ting hit by a car, I’­ma get­ting hit by a nice car.

–Broad­way & Hous­ton

Tourist dri­ving car: I don’t give a fuck if you own the world! I’m run­ning your ass over!

–Fi­nan­cial Dis­trict

Over­heard by: lex