Archive for the ‘Cancer’ Category

Democ­ra­cy Clears Does­n’t Work; Back to Monar­chy?

Wheeltard: Round here I’m just an id­iot, but not in Brook­lyn. I’m king in my neigh­bor­hood. When I cross that bridge and they see me comin’, they know I’m king.

–Tomp­kins Square Park

Over­heard by: Alex Ro­manovich

Girl: I don’t know who she thinks she is, but just be­cause she’s got can­cer does­n’t make her Queen Bitch.

–Bleeck­er & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Tony

Have You Seen Wednes­day? It’s To­tal­ly Had Its One-Lin­ers Done.

Woman on cell: I can’t be­lieve no one said any­thing… How could no one no­tice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this mon­ey to get my nose fixed, and no one says any­thing?

–Nor­folk & Hous­ton

50-year-old la­dy: So are you still down for the Brazil­ian wax?

–45th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Chuch

Lit­tle girl, point­ing at some­one hav­ing their eye­brows thread­ed: Look! They’re sewing that wom­an’s face!

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: ken­zi

Or­ange la­dy: Is it like you def­i­nite­ly, for sure get can­cer from a tan­ning bed? Cause then I might stop.

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Alex­is

That Way I Can Snack on It When I Get Bored

Girl #1: What does a brain tu­mor feel like? Cause I think I have one.
Girl #2: I don’t know, but that’s hor­ri­ble.
Girl #1: Yeah, it would suck a lot. It just feels like there’s a lump, in my brain. I’m re­al­ly out of shape, though, so I’m hop­ing the lump is just an­oth­er pile of fat build­ing up in my bod.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: pomy

There’s No Pill for What Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have

Ner­vous hip­ster: You know, it’s re­al­ly true what they say about friends with eczema…

–50th & 8th

Over­heard by: chris

Guy on cell: So she got can­cer, big fuckin deal!

–1st Ave & St. Mark’s

Man on cell: Next time they call, just po­lite­ly say there’s no one here with di­a­betes.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Lo­la Black

Woman ex­it­ing car: There’s this bump be­tween my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

–W 4th St

20-some­thing guy to 40-some­thing woman: Look, I’m not say­ing I’m not con­cerned about my hand be­ing sticky, but I’m more con­cerned about malar­ia.


It’s Won­der­ful How Women Lis­ten to Each Oth­er

PR woman #1: So, my cous­in’s test on her biop­sy showed that it was can­cer­ous…
PR woman #2: Girl, that nut­tin’. My best friend’s sis­ter’s hus­band — he’s a doc­tor — was dri­vin’ to the city from New Jer­sey yes­ter­day, got out­ta his car and got run over by a truck.

–Union Square sta­tion

Over­heard by: dr­funk