Archive for the ‘Cancer’ Category

Maybe I’ll Smoke This One with My Ass

Girl: Oh my God, that’s what a smoker’s lung looks like?
Guy #1: Whoa… Yeah, I guess it is. Look, that’s what a cancerous lung looks like.
Girl: That is disgusting.
Guy #1: Really is.
Guy #2: Putrid. Absolutely grotesque.
Guy #1: Really makes you think twice about smoking. I really need a cigarette.

–Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Wednesday Catches a Bad Case of One-Liners

Crazy man: Now, you probably don’t know this, but most of y’all have diabetes.

–1 train

Overheard by: bildita

Tall, skinny suit to lady suit: … What’s your sick policy? I was like, ‘Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t get me sick — that’s our sick policy!’

–13th & University

Overheard by: Dave D

Chick: I’da killed him if it wasn’t for that damn leukemia.

–9th & Smith St station

Dude: Can you get carpel tunnel of the butt?

–17th & 6th

Girl on cell: I’m like a virus. I never go away. I go away for a little bit, and you think you’re clear, and then I come back and take over your body.

–33rd & 30th, Astoria

Overheard by: brigid

Wednesday One-liners Have Their Priorities Straight

Three JHS boys pass a woman in a tight t‑shirt and mini-skirt talking on her cell. One stares slack-jawed, then says to his buddies: Wow! That was the new Motorola.

–79th Street between Columbus & Amsterdam

Guy: As soon as I get my unemployment check, I’m going to buy a new TV.

–Penn Station

Woman on cell: I lost my sunglasses and I have cancer. 

–34th & Madison

Overheard by: Lisa 

Boy, 8: Look Mom! I think Daddy likes the Hummer more than you.

–Astoria

Overheard by: Adam Kraemer 

Guy on pay phone: I haven’t decided if I prefer the smell of fresh urine or stale urine. I’ll let you know. 

–Hotel Edison, West 47th Street

Guy: I told you what my goal is: to be lazy. 20 years from now, I want to be lazy. 

–St. Mark’s Place between 2nd & 3rd