Archive for the ‘Cars and Driving’ Category

What Is Art? Are We Art? Are Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Art?

Old­er gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you did­n’t need to have pas­sion or tal­ent to be an artist; you just need­ed to have a van, be­cause no one else was go­ing to haul your shit­ty art around.

–7th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Miss C

Girl read­ing sign at Frank Lloyd Wright mu­se­um: Oh… He was an ar­chi­tect!

–Guggen­heim Mu­se­um

Over­heard by: An­tar­tic

Mom to lit­tle girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you’ll turn in­to a stat­ue.

–Mo­MA

Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she did­n’t think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I’ll go to a fuck­ing mu­se­um if I fuck­ing want to. I’ll look at some paint­ings and shit.

–Down­town Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Mark McLaugh­lin

12-year-old boy, look­ing at Pi­cas­so paint­ings: This is to­tal­ly my thing, man, it’s like free porn.

–Mo­MA

Fresh­ly-Mint­ed Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

An­noy­ing Jer­sey girl on cell: I’m not fru­gal. I’m, like, not fru­gal with a vengeance. I, like, refuse to con­sid­er mon­ey.

–19th & 8th

Over­heard by: Hobo

Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty ad­min­is­tra­tor: It gets dif­fi­cult to man­age fi­nances as your en­dow­ment reach­es the size of the GDP of a small coun­try.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Sen­a­tore

Bike mes­sen­ger (yelling): Could any­body spare $50,000?

–6th Ave & 20th St

Over­heard by: thiess

Man: I mean, what does does she *re­al­ly* get out of rid­ing a five thou­sand dol­lar scoot­er?

–Out­side Think Cof­fee

Over­heard by: ne­mi­ly

Suit on cell: You see, the thing with mon­ey coun­ters is they jam…and when you are in a room­ful of il­lit­er­ate afghans, there’s 8 mil­lion on the ta­ble and they mis­trust you.

–Mer­cer & Grand

Pro­fes­sor: I bet none of you wrote that in your ad­mis­sions es­say. “I want mon­ey.” Ac­tu­al­ly, that might be suc­cess­ful. They might think, “hey, that’s pret­ty cool, they’re telling the truth.”

–NYU Law

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Clean Every­thing Up Be­fore Their Par­ents Get Back

Black woman in trashy out­fit: And he said “But the par­ty just start­ed, bitch, I’ll take you in a few hours!” and I was like, “Nig­ga please! My wa­ter just broke!”

–Low­er East Side

Asian bim­bo on cell: I just spoke to Per­cy and al­leged­ly they threw a par­ty af­ter we were fired, to cel­e­brate us get­ting fired…but we’re peo­ple too.

–181 & St Nicholas

Over­heard by: must not have liked you

Hip­ster girl: My all-time dream is to be shot by the co­bra snake at a par­ty, with a cig in my hand and Paul* be­tween my thighs.

–NYU Dorm

Over­heard by: Dayn

Tat­tooed guy on iPhone: Yeah, I’m bring­ing a 250-foot Slip ‘N Slide!

–7th & 13th St

Over­heard by: can I come to that par­ty?

Loud man on cell: Yo, son! Why did­n’t you in­vite to your par­ty? Damn…c’mon! Re­mem­ber that time the chick in a wheel­chair was work­ing us in the cab? Yeah, she was in a wheel­chair! Re­mem­ber we got a cab for her and put her in the cab? That’s right–that was me! She was giv­ing us both head.

–BBQ Re­stroom, 8th Ave, Chelsea

20-some­thing woman: Wait…when is it a rule to give the host a hand­job?

–Mu­se­um of Nat­ur­al His­to­ry

Over­heard by: Jazz

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Ac­ci­dent Prone

Cute 20-some­thing queer on cell: I slipped and fell and slid about fif­teen feet on 34th Street. Thank God I have a fat ass. It was like a Slip ‘n Slide with­out the warm, the bathing suit, or the fun.

–6 train

Over­heard by: Look­ing at his not fat ass

Pe­ter Sars­gaard: That was like the time my sis­ter got hit by her own school bus!

–Out­side of the Ars No­va The­atre, 54th & 10th

Over­heard by: Danielle

Dirty, Sexy Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yam­mer­ing away on cell: Is it to­tal­ly ac­cept­able to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: An­na Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a gi­ant I’d fuck the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty!

–Hous­ton & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Hen­ry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast in­fec­tion, I’m gonna bang the shit out of him.

–Mc­Don­ald’s, Times Square

Over­heard by: Keep It Movin’

Black guy on cell: Pen­e­tra­tion?! Pen­e­tra­tion?! It ain’t about pen­e­tra­tion, it’s all about sen­sa­tion.

–E 4th St

Over­heard by: girl named sug­ar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while mak­ing out against a car: Let’s just go with it…let’s just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleeck­er & Mac­dou­gal

Girl to the guy at the next ta­ble: Haven’t I slept with you be­fore?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Ash­lee