Archive for the ‘Catholics’ Category

Or Maybe That Was “Don’t Use a Hot­plate in Your Bed­room.” Hmm…

Catholic school­girl #1: I think I’m go­ing to have sex with my boyfriend tonight.
Catholic school­girl #2: Well, you know… you can’t use a con­dom.
Catholic school­girl #1: Re­al­ly?
Catholic school­girl #2: Yeah… they taught us that in school, hel­lo?!

–Star­bucks, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Jes­sa

Bless Me, Fa­ther, for I Have Wednes­day One-Linered

Man in cow­boy hat, look­ing at large crowd sur­round­ing a Jew for Je­sus: Man, I can’t com­pete with re­li­gion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Silen­tRaver

Guy on cell: Why, is it be­cause it’s the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It’s the Bap­tists.

–Cosi, 13th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Heather

Crazy creep­ster, go­ing up to Catholic girls and scream­ing: Catholic school­girls rule!

–R Train

Over­heard by: Aman­duh

Tall, 40-some­thing guy on cell: I don’t know… I don’t think I can go drunk to church.

–53rd St & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: Mid­town Schmid­town

Woman: My hus­band is pissed be­cause I skipped church for this shit!

–Me­dieval Fes­ti­val, Ft. Try­on Park

Ac­cord­ing to Za­gat’s

Church la­dy #1: You should try this restau­rant I went to last week in Brook­lyn.
Church la­dy #2: Oh, is that in the hood?
Church la­dy #1: No, it’s not quite in the hood, but it’s close. It’s about two stops from the hood.

–A Train

Over­heard by: what’s hap­pen­ing to our hood?

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Too Cool for Shul

Hip­ster guy: I mean, she’s a Jew­ish. She’s not, like, a bad per­son, I think.

–44th & 9th

Over­heard by: …right.

Dude: He’s that kind of su­per-se­ri­ous Jew that does­n’t touch women. I think they call it ‘Ha­va Nag­i­la.’

–Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

Mid­dle school girl try­ing to catch snowflakes in her mouth: These snowflakes are so an­ti­se­mit­ic! They won’t go in my mouth!

–110th & Am­s­ter­dam

Blonde on cell: I just don’t see us work­ing out. All my friends hate you, my mom hates you, and even my dog hates you… My mom hates you be­cause you’re not Jew­ish… Yes, I’m aware I’m Catholic… Be­cause Jews are fi­nan­cial­ly se­cure!

–Star­bucks, Up­per West Side

Frus­trat­ed Jew­ish guy: I mean, look at these peo­ple and their Red Sox yarmulkes! What is this world com­ing to?!

–Ju­daism De­bate, Coop­er Union

Shik­sa see­ing meno­rah-shaped choco­lates: Oooh, combs!

–Par­ty, W 72nd & Broad­way