Archive for the ‘Celebrities’ Category

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Wednesday-One-Liners

Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!

–Varick &Vandam

Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!

–9th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: david hyman

Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.

–Fordham

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!

–3rd Ave & 9th St

Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.

–2nd & A

Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!

–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St

Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest

Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!

–Jamaica Ave and 150th St

Overheard by: Rodney-Rod

Nothing Makes Me Come Like Some Zyklon, Redux

Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Smack Jack

Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.

–92nd Street Y

Overheard by: Kelly