Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category

With This Ring, I Thee Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Woman on phone: The point is, I asked you to mar­ry me and you hes­i­tat­ed. You hes­i­tat­ed!

–Grand Cen­tral Ter­mi­nal

Act­ing pro­fes­sor: Act as if you’re fas­ci­nat­ed by what they’re say­ing, while think­ing about some­thing else. That’s what boys learn to do when they get mar­ried.

–NYU

Over­heard by: Lisa

Man, ad­vis­ing an­oth­er flirt­ing with hot woman: You got­ta go for it–unless she’s mar­ried!

–2 Train

Five-year-old boy to an­oth­er: Yeah, well… I’ll let you mar­ry my daugh­ter!

–10th St & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Ricky

Man to male friend: So ba­si­cal­ly, I took her to a gay bar on our wed­ding night.

–Cen­tral Park

Chick to guy: Are we *se­ri­ous­ly* ar­gu­ing about whether or not aunt Jemi­ma would sup­port gay mar­riage?

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: La­dle

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Can Pick Up Quar­ters With No Hands

Girl on cell: Quite frankly, I’d rather be pole danc­ing.

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: brain­curve

Girl: I mean, I’m a strip­per, but that don’t mean I’m a ho.

–Cen­tral Park

Guy on cell: I don’t get the whole Pent­house Club thing. There are strip­pers, and they serve you steak? I don’t want a fuck­ing strip­per on my lap while I’m eat­ing steak. I’ve got a knife.

–Austin Street, For­est Hills

Over­heard by: Ethan

Black girl: ‘Fo re­al, she makes all that mon­ey dancin’, and she can’t even her­self get a weave?

–86th & 2nd