Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category

Wednesday Caniners

Stylish 20-something woman to overweight pug breathing heavily: Well, Winifred, you’re out of breath because you’re out of shape. (pause) No, you’re not fat. You’re voluminous. (pause) Yes, I am aware it’s not all your fault. Mummy likes to watch you eat powder doughnuts. (pause) Pugs that look like they have a coke habit are very funny for mummy, yes they are.

–Central Park

Young hipster to Labrador, as people approach: Come on! Come on! Say hello! (dog remains seated, doing nothing) God! I’ve been training him for months to talk to couples and it just isn’t working!

–Williamsburg

Woman to her dog: Don’t be an insult to your species! Act like a dog!

–10th St & Broadway

Lady to little barking dog: Shut up. This is not your sidewalk.

–Brooklyn

Two If We Get Arrested Again

Woman: Do you wanna go into those bushes and do it?
Man: Nah, we always fuck in Central Park. Let’s go to Washington Square.
Woman: Fine, but you have to buy me a funnel cake later.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jimmy Dailey

Hope Her Charger Has a Really Long Cord

Hippy girl: So yeah, we are gonna be living in this yurt for a year without electricity or running water or anything. It’s all about getting back to our roots and stuff.
Guy: No electricity or anything? What if you have to call someone or something?
Hippy girl: I’ll just use my cell phone.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Kelly Ernst

Too Late!

Teen boyfriend: I’ve been watching you.
Teen girlfriend: Ummm…
Teen boyfriend: No, no, don’t worry — not in, like, the creepy ‘I’ve been watching you’-way.

–Central Park