Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category

Hope Her Charger Has a Really Long Cord

Hippy girl: So yeah, we are gonna be living in this yurt for a year without electricity or running water or anything. It’s all about getting back to our roots and stuff.
Guy: No electricity or anything? What if you have to call someone or something?
Hippy girl: I’ll just use my cell phone.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Kelly Ernst

Too Late!

Teen boyfriend: I’ve been watching you.
Teen girlfriend: Ummm…
Teen boyfriend: No, no, don’t worry — not in, like, the creepy ‘I’ve been watching you’-way.

–Central Park

Sadly, the Wart, Green Skin, and Pointed Hat Were Effectively Invisible Compared with the Limp Wrist, Sashaying Hips, and Love of Shoes

Girl #1: Wow, look at all the babies out here!
Polish queer: Mmm… dinner.
Girl #2: What?
Polish queer: I’m just living up to the stereotype.… Witches? Eating babies?
Girl #2: Oh! I thought you meant Polish people!
Guy: I thought you meant gay people!

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: Caroline

Use a Wednesday, So You Don’t Get One-Linered Up

Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

–Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm?

–Times Square

Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: “If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant.”? Seriously!

–Broadway & 103rd St

Overheard by: Amy

Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom.

–Outside Trader Joe’s, 14th St

Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy – the baby snow monkey – came along. So be careful with your birth control.

–Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys

Girl to another: I just don’t see why we can’t make our own condoms.

–14th St & 4th Ave

Wednesday One-Liners Regret Listening to Their Biological Clocks

Mother to screaming toddler: Stop it. This is not your day. This is my day. Don’t ruin it.

–Gourmet Garage

Southern woman to son: The WWE pose, just like we practiced in the backyard now.

–NBC Studios

Overheard by: Tracy

Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter… (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!

–Central Park

Overheard by: chellie

Very young mother to four-year-old son: Stop that! If you don’t start behavin’ I’m gonna send you in for the new model!

–R Train

Overheard by: Kait

Ghetto mom to young son running his hand along outside window while walking: Don’t do that! You gonna get germs! Yo’ hand gonna fall off!

–45th b/w 3rd & Lexington

Overheard by: Lili Von Shtupp

Very serious mother: Well, Megatron could beat Optimus because he’s stronger. But Optimus is smarter, so he can outsmart Megatron.

–East Village

Mom holding little boy’s hand: Forget everything you’ve seen today.

–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island Boardwalk

Overheard by: Not forgetting ANYTHING we saw today