Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight
Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category
The Answer Is Shitting in the Wind
Man on a park bench #1: Betcha never seen a dandelion turn from yellow to white. Even catch one half-way in between.
Man on a park bench #2: Betcha ain’t never seen no baby pigeons. Ain’t noboby never seen no baby pigeons. See all them big fat ones? Where’s the babies at?
–Central Park
When He Talked About Her “Flat,” She Assumed He Was Making Disparaging Comments About Her Chest
Frustrated woman laying out: Actually, no, he didn’t say he would call me, he said he would “ring” me.
Indignant friend: What an asshole! Like seriously, you’re not British!
–Sheep Meadow
Overheard by: Henry Higgins
And I Know a Lot about Ugly
Yuppie woman #1: So, why don’t you buy their products? Is it because of the whole child labor thing?
Yuppie woman #2: No, I don’t give a shit about that — I’m a Republican. I just think their products are ugly.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Like Anyone Hears Anything Said on a Cell Phone
Jogging hoochie on cell: Yeah, I just touched down in Boston. No, I’m still in the airport waiting for my bag.
Black guy: Don’t believe her! She’s in Atlantic City!
–Central Park
Overheard by: MaliceAlice
Okay, but a Burlap Sack and Shower Cap?
Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jax
Just a Vestige, Like Your Tail
Mother to daughter wearing a Pink Princess backpack: Hold up, honey, mommy needs to get something out of your bag.
(mother removes pack of cigarettes and lighter from bag)
Husband to wife: You have no shame.
–Central Park
Of Course You’ll Have to Put Bill in a Dress First
Guy #1: So I just say “hi, this is my wife”?
Guy #2: Yeah, that is all you have to say.
–Central Park
Maybe Next Time You Won’t Smoke Crack During the Third Trimester
Mom: Look at this! Look at all this! You’re in nature! Aren’t you having fun?
Little boy: No.
Mom: Well then there’s something wrong with you.
–The Great Lawn, Central Park
With This Ring, I Thee Wednesday One-Liner
Woman on phone: The point is, I asked you to marry me and you hesitated. You hesitated!
–Grand Central Terminal
Acting professor: Act as if you’re fascinated by what they’re saying, while thinking about something else. That’s what boys learn to do when they get married.
–NYU
Overheard by: Lisa
Man, advising another flirting with hot woman: You gotta go for it–unless she’s married!
–2 Train
Five-year-old boy to another: Yeah, well… I’ll let you marry my daughter!
–10th St & University
Overheard by: Ricky
Man to male friend: So basically, I took her to a gay bar on our wedding night.
–Central Park
Chick to guy: Are we *seriously* arguing about whether or not aunt Jemima would support gay marriage?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ladle
