Archive for the ‘Chinese’ Category

The Joy Luck Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

20-some­thing guy on cell: I’m sure she wants to cas­trate me. (pause) Re­mem­ber her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then un­con­trol­lable laugh) I gots the yel­low fever!

–59th St & 11th

Chi­nese broth­er to sis­ter: All Asians get off at this stop. (look­ing out win­dow) See? They’re all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there’s one Eng­lish guy.

–Grand Street Stop, D Train

Over­heard by: Justin W

Asian girl on cell: You know how peo­ple say all Asians look the same? Well, I re­al­ized some­thing to­day. All white peo­ple look the same to me–I hon­est­ly can’t tell them apart!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

20-some­thing Asian girl on cell, in per­fect Amer­i­can Eng­lish: So, I just got wel­comed to Amer­i­ca for the sec­ond time to­day. Are my clothes that… (with dis­gust) Asian?

–Metro-North

Over­heard by: Red­Shikari