Archive for the ‘Choke’ Category

A Few Sucky Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Brunette woman yelling on cell: Look, I’m 24 fuck­ing years old. If I want to suck dick all day, that’s my busi­ness!


Over­heard by: Blank Slater

Girl on cell: First you go, “ac­c­ck­kk… ac­c­ck­kkk” (makes chok­ing sounds) Then you have a mouth ful­la cum!

–Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: I.R.

50-some­thing woman, scream­ing in­to cell: Lis­ten, ass­hole, I’m not some cheap slut you can call when­ev­er you need some­one to suck you off, I have a job!

–Penn Sta­tion Taxi Line

Black man in phone booth: You bet­ter suck that juicy white cock, and get me that per­fume, bitch!

–7th Ave & 35th St

Urge to Choke…Ris­ing

Teenage check­out work­er, jok­ing­ly to cowork­er: I swear to fuck­ing god one of these days I’­ma just reach over and choke you. You are so god­damn an­noy­ing I will choke you! (Asian chick ap­proach­es, gives bag to teen work­er)
Teenage check­out work­er, lean­ing over counter: Nah whad­da mean? Nah whad­da mean? I’­ma choke this muda­fuck­er right here one day.
Asian chick: (silent­ly gives be­mused smile)
Teenage check­out work­er: I swear to god I’­ma choke this one right here, nah whad­da mean?
Cowork­er be­ing threat­ened: Yo, she does­n’t speak Eng­lish.
Asian chick, with sass: Ex­cuse me? What you don’t think I speak Eng­lish? What, cause I’m Asian you don’t think I can fuck­ing speak Eng­lish?
Cowork­er: (shocked si­lence)
Teen check­out work­er: You tell him, girl! You tell him!
Asian chick: Yeah. Yeah. I got an 800 on the Eng­lish sec­tion of the SAT. Yeah, I speak Eng­lish.
Teen check­out work­er: Tell him! Say that shit again yo, what was your score, girl?
Asian chick: An 800!

–B&H Pho­to Video

Over­heard by: you tell him, girl!

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Fade to Black

Slight­ly drunk kid from Alas­ka: I re­al­ized I had blacked out when I woke up on top of my sis­ter.

–14th St

Over­heard by: The Rev­erend

Young girl on cell: You passed out from him chok­ing you? (pause) Like…does it…um…sting? Did he apol­o­gize at least? (pause) Ya know, it’s not okay to get so fucked up that you don’t know that he’s chok­ing you.

–Max Cafe

Over­heard by: D to the ana

Loud girl on cell: Oh my god! Don’t even wor­ry about hit­ting on her too much, she was to­tal­ly blacked out last night!

–Whole Foods Union Square

Over­heard by: bildita

Prep­py girl: Is “faint” a eu­phemism for “bon­er”?

–La­Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: Di­ana