Archive for the ‘Christianity’ Category

Night Train, Thun­der­bird and Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Crazy hobo with gui­tar to stranger: Damn… you in­vit­ed a lot of peo­ple.

–1 Train

Hobo to young mar­ried cou­ple: I have found the promised land. Se­ri­ous­ly. I’d get a plane tick­et right now, but it’d be cheap­er to go to con­fes­sion for a week and then get hit by a bus. Re­mind me to tell you about this lat­er.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Oliv­er

Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-some­thing girl walks past him, with busi­ness­man a few steps be­hind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…

–W 3rd & Thomp­son

Hobo, tak­ing do­na­tions to help the home­less, count­ing coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fist­ful of coins sticks in pock­et) Tax re­bate!

–Union Square

Where Uni­tar­i­ans Come From

Gen­tile #1: I’m think­ing he looks more like a rab­bi. Can’t you just pic­ture the yarmulke on his head?
Gen­tile #2: Drei­del, drei­del, drei­del, I made you out of wood.
Gen­tile #1: Clay!
Gen­tile #2: Clay? Oh, it is clay… see, that’s what makes me not Jew­ish.
Gen­tile #1: Be­lieve it or not, in Catholic school dur­ing Hanukkah they had us play drei­del games and eat latkes and stuff.
Gen­tile #2: That’s very weird.
Gen­tile #1: Hey, it was bet­ter than read­ing the Bible.
Gen­tile #2: Touché.

–New School for So­cial Re­search

Vague­ly Chris­t­ian Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Crazy home­less guy: Ya see, I don’t like the Bap­tists, be­cause I’m a Ro­man Catholic. But I would hire a Bap­tist man, be­cause I like the dough­nuts.

–4 train

Over­heard by: Russ Wall

Lit­tle boy skip­ping: I did not com­mit a sin!

–Cen­tral Park

Yup­pie chick on cell: It’s re­al­ly easy to con­vert to Protes­tantism. All you have to do is kill a few Catholics, Mar­tin Luther King style. Okay, I got­ta go, I have a train to catch.

–Mon­tague St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: I’d like to know where she stud­ied his­to­ry

Man bow­ing head: Hail Mary, full of– ah, fuck it.

–North­bound Q train