Archive for the ‘Christians’ Category

There’s No Cry­ing in Wednes­day One-Lin­ers!

Con­duc­tor: This is Wil­lets Point/Shea Sta­di­um. You know, home of the oth­er team. (pas­sen­gers laugh) You may laugh, but we all know no one re­al­ly likes the Mets. Any­hoo, have a nice day, every­one. Stand clear of the clos­ing doors.

–7 Train

Over­heard by: Kris­ten

20-some­thing guy wear­ing Red Sox hat to girl­friend: There’s no way we can have kids in New York. They’d be go­ing to school with a bunch of brain­washed Yan­kee fan off­spring, and every night we’d have to be telling them bed­time sto­ries that end with “and they all lived hap­pi­ly every af­ter, ex­cept for Derek Jeter, be­cause he’s a fuckin’ ass­hole.”

–1 Train

Young woman on cell: I’m from New York, but live in Boston, but want to move back to New York… It’s hard be­ing a Yan­kees fan sur­round­ed by fuck­ing Red Sox fans. I can’t do it any­more.

–L Train

Over­heard by: I agree…

Sub­way con­duc­tor: Yan­kees fans. This is a Bronx-bound ex­press D. This will not stop at Yan­kee sta­di­um. Trans­fer at the next sta­tion to the B. (20 min­utes lat­er) Yan­kees fans. I promise you this train will not stop at Yan­kee sta­di­um. You can trans­fer to the B at the next sta­tion. Or you could just not go to the game. The choice is yours.

–D Train

20-some­thing moth­er to an­oth­er, try­ing hard to look knowl­edge­able: The Yan­kees and Mets are play­ing two games to­day, the first at Yan­kee sta­di­um and the sec­ond at Fen­way, where the Mets play.

–Barnes & No­ble Cafe

Woman in Je­sus t‑shirt: Je­sus hates the Yan­kees.

–Up­town C Train

Over­heard by: Pen­ny

Con­duc­tor to packed train: At­ten­tion, at­ten­tion pas­sen­gers. To all Yan­kee fans on this train, please have a safe day to­day, and en­joy the game. Per­son­al­ly, I am a Red Sox fan. That is all.

–Up­town 4 Train

Son Of a Wednes­day One-Lin­er Man

Evan­ge­list out­side gym: You want to be a ma­cho man? Look at Je­sus!

–Broad­way & Prince

Street evan­ge­list on mi­cro­phone: Y’all ever see two fe­male pi­geons in bed to­geth­er?

–Ford­ham Plaza

Very ag­i­tat­ed priest: Je­sus was a zy­gote once–what if Mary abort­ed him?

–St. Luke’s Church, White­stone

Crazy sub­way evan­ge­list: If god could make me a good crack­head, you best be­lieve he could make me a good preach­er.

–E Train

Over­heard by: Gig­gling at crack

Preach­er: And that’s why your re­li­gion is null and void.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Al­fie

You Can’t Han­dle the Wednes­day One-Lin­er!

Girls on bench: Is US week­ly mag­a­zine, like, the on­ly one that’s true?

–Cen­tral Park

Man on cell, cross­ing street: And I told that Jew­ish cunt that every­thing she’s heard about black men is true, and I’m gonna stick my foot in her fuck­ing mouth.

–46th St & Madi­son Ave

Bum con­vers­ing with Bible-tot­ing teens: Yes, it’s in the Bible… But is it true?

–Union Square

Skater boy: Most things aren’t true.

–72nd St & Am­s­ter­dam