Archive for the ‘Circumcision’ Category

Um, Why?

Stu­dent #1, on Jew­ish cir­cum­ci­sion: Is­n’t it, like, they cut off your fore­skin and put it on your head?
Stu­dent #2: Oh my god, that is so awe­some! If you could get fore­skin yarmulkes, I would to­tal­ly be­come Jew­ish.

–NYU

Man, That Hobo Sure Gets Around

Hip­ster chick #1: …So I was giv­ing this guy a hand­job and he was­n’t circumcised…it was so bizarre look­ing.
Hip­ster chick #2: I know, is­n’t it so weird? I’m all like, “What am I sup­posed to do with that thing at the top? Touch it, play with it, leave it alone?”

–5th & A

Girl #1: I just saw a bum pee­ing on 88th Street.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: I did­n’t no­tice. He was a bum. Even if he had John Holmes’ cock, I would­n’t touch it with a ten foot pole.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: Not re­al­ly.

–6 train

Over­heard by: Matt Mon­ti­ni

Wednes­day One-lin­ers are a Spe­cial Area

Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick!

–6th Av­enue & 9th Street

Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I go­ing to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagi­na you’re go­ing to hear the fuck­ing desert like it’s a seashell.

–43rd & 5th

Over­heard by: James Wil­son

Burkha woman: …when you re­move a man’s gen­i­tals, it’s a sin.

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m get­ting my dick sucked right now.

–4 train

Over­heard by: LatiE

Guy: It was­n’t till I start­ed col­lege that I re­al­ized they had botched the cir­cum­ci­sion. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck hap­pened to you? It looks like the fuck­ing rings of sat­urn.”

–38th & 3rd

Suit: If you’re a dick you can do any­thing.

–Maid­en Lane & Pearl Street

Over­heard by: SKG

Man on cell: So I was try­ing to take a pee and she kept talk­ing to me, so then my dick got hard and I could­n’t pee.

–25th & 5th

Over­heard by: Ian Wheel­er-Nichol­son

La­dy on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grand­par­ents, thats why. Ge­net­ic mu­ta­tions and stuff.

–50th & Madi­son

Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores!

–SI par­ty

Over­heard by: Re­bec­ca Dash