Archive for the ‘Clerks’ Category

Wednes­day, with a One-Lin­er Chas­er

Fe­male day-drink­ing tourist: Oh shit, I left my vod­ka in the church!

–Out­side Trin­i­ty Church

Man on cell: If it’s pos­si­ble to fer­ment it, we have fer­ment­ed it.

–7th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave

Mid­dle-aged man to younger man: You know how cats and dogs–they eat and then they go? In one end and out the oth­er. I’m like that. My blad­der has room for the equiv­a­lent of one good cock­tail.

–10th Ave and W 50th St

Over­heard by: Ah.…middle age

Com­muter at 8 am: Beer. Beer.

–Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: ba­con­ista

Old drunk walk­ing in­to a liquor store, to clerk: Have you got my pre­scrip­tion?

–Broad­way & 106th St

Over­heard by: rick­bruner

…By Glaz­ing Over the Truth.

Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Give me six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, which ones?
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: These are all donuts… Which ones?
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, I’ll just give you a se­lec­tion of six. (starts putting ran­dom donuts in bag)
Old la­dy cov­ered in ba­by pow­der: Six donuts, don’t trick me.

–Flat­bush, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Save the Whales, Save the Whole Thing

Are You Fuck­ing With Me, Ma’am?

An­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl: If you get the ap­ple pome­gran­ate body but­ter…
Weary brunette: I on­ly see the dis­play.
An­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl: We have more in the back. Okay, well, if you get two or more prod­ucts from the bath line, like this and our show­er gel, you get a free bath­tub!
Weary brunette: Huh?
(an­i­mat­ed blonde sales­girl points to a lit­tle plas­tic bath­tub)
Weary brunette: That’s… tiny. Like, I love the scent but I’m afraid I don’t have any kit­tens or fe­tus­es to bathe in that tiny tiny tub.

–Sepho­ra, Times Square