Girl #1: So, we have a bet — if I have sex first, then I have to wear a shirt that she’s written all over, but if she– [looks around].
Girl #2: If she what?
Girl #1: … I’ll tell you later. I feel like people are listening, and I don’t want to end up on some website.
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Mother: Do you sell M&M booty shorts for little girls?
Cashier: Um… No.
Mother: Oh well… thank you.
–M&M’s World
Girl #1: Is this wearable?
Girl #2: Yes, if you are auditioning for a part as an intergalactic cowboy.
–55th & 6th
Overheard by: Carla H
Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.
–Trader Joe’s
Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!
–Lobby, the Met
Overheard by: Shayna
Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!
–W 4th & Christopher St
Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..
Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?
–St. Mark’s Pl
Guy: I like Bin Laden, you know? I like his style. Nobody can figure that motherfucker out. Hell, I’d wear a t-shirt with that motherfucker’s face on it. The snipers, they be tryin’ to find him and didn’t find shit. I give him mad credit. He bad ass.
–Post Office, 42nd between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Woman #1: I always wear two bras when I work out.
Woman #2: Two bras?
Woman #1: Yes, a regular bra under my sports bra. That way, I don’t get all flattened out, and besides, I look more natural, don’t you think?
–14th St
Overheard by: stephanie
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
–E Train
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
–Central Park
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
–Union Hall
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
40-something male watching 20-something female bending over: Holy shit! That girl's got no panties on!
30-something male: Yes she is, it's a thong.
40-something male: If she is wearing panties, that's the deepest thong I've even seen.
–Dewey's Flatiron
Overheard by: Gmoney
Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed.
–W 52nd & 9th
Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about
Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first.
–Wagner College Dinning Hall
Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle!
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: bitterfame
Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol?
–23rd & 7th
Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.]
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Lillian
Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo!
–Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave
NYU kid #1: Who wouldn’t want sex toys?
NYU kid #2: Well, I already have so many. I don’t have clothes in my drawers, they’re full of sex toys!
–Washington Square Park