Archive for the ‘Clothing’ Category

Not Sure You Avoid That with the “I Heart NY” Shirt, Though

Chick: Would it have been okay if I’d worn my shirt with a zebra on it today, or would that be like wearing a band shirt to a concert?
Dude: Yeah, that’s exactly how it would be. Like, it’s okay if you wear the opening band’s shirt, but not the headliner. If you wore your zebra shirt, we would’ve had to skip the zebras.
Chick: You’re right, I would have looked sooo groupie.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Sromeo

We Can Spot Fake Wednesday One-Liners a Mile Away

Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?

–Office Building, 32nd & 7th

Overheard by: erkala

Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!

–Toys R' Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Lotte

Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.

–Canal Street

Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!

–Ave B

Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.

–West 4th Street

Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: sal b

Pop Quiz: How Many Faces Do the Girls Have? Show Your Work.

Skinny girl in dress: Okay, what do you guys think?
Friend #1: Oh my god, it looks so good on you.
Friend #2: I love it!
Skinny girl: Really? I don’t know…
Friend #1: Seriously — you should get it. It looks awesome on you.
Friend #2: If I were you, I’d totally get it.
Skinny girl: Okay… Thanks! I think I will. [Retreats into fitting room.]Friend #1: God, she is so disgustingly skinny, it sickens me.
Friend #2: I could throw up right now.

–H&M fitting room, Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: lc

Is It Too Late to Give You a Puzzle?

Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.

–Manhattan bound N train

Overheard by: lauren

Is This a Great Town, or What?

Young boy: I don’t care what anyone says, I am wearing a red dress on Monday.
Mom: Oh? Well, how are you going to get it?
Young boy: I don’t know, but that’s where you come in.
Mom: I don’t have a red dress.
Young boy: Oh, I thought you did.
Mom: I have a t-shirt with a belt around it. You can wear that.

–Near Columbia University

Overheard by: sam

Wednesday One-Liners for Vanessa Hudgens

Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why'd I wake up naked?

–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Swimfan

Girl: Oh my god! I can't wait to see them naked!

–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center

Overheard by: Natalie

Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.

–Museum of Art and Design

Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I'm wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn't mean I'm going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I've done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.

–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator

Overheard by: Martin

Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don't even know why I'm here, I just want to take off my clothes!

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Lilo

Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

–A Train

Overheard by: Don't even wanna know

Girl on cell: So I'm gonna be naked, but that's okay, I'll be wearing rollerblades.

–N 4th & Bedford Ave

Wednesday One-Liners with Two Percent Body Fat

Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!

–MoMA

Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.

–NYU

Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…

–Union Square

Overheard by: eliza

Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!

–1st Ave

Overheard by: Aria Grillo

Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.

–6th & 10th

Overheard by: El

Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.

–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup

Overheard by: midtown_strangler

Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.

–4 train

Overheard by: Hurtz donit